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My Journey Back To Joy

by

C. Spring


My Journey Back To Joy

by

C. Spring


Copyright 2014 C. Spring


2nd Edition Published 2017



Distributed by Smashwords



Smashwords Edition, License Notes


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Dedications:


To G-d

who created me


His Son Jesus

who saved me from myself



And


To John

who helped me to face myself

deal with it all honestly

and learn to love again



Contents



Book One ~ PAIN Book Two ~ REACTION Book Three ~ JOY


Uniform Words Geometric Views The Written Word

Artcage Where Else Home

Firstborn Emptiness Thank Jesus Christ

Biff Dream Is My Heart Pure

My Dad Look To Things Above New Again

The Bus Where, My Heart Kindness

Walk Of Sleep Fantasy Man Christianity

I Have No Name Waterfall Paths I Am Indeed A Stranger

Not Maria Time As Butterflies To Harm, To Heal

Alcohol Tom & "Her" Peace Of Poetry

Harsh Truth Girl Stuff W. Park

All the Better Stalkers Nights Of Peace

Talk To Me The Others Blank St. Fair

Street Smarts Sonshine A Man's Traits

Falls Seven Times My Husband The Evening Of The Year

Night Theology My Poison Necessary Space

My Innocent Stroll Lonely Word The Whole Earth Praise

Soul Murder My Haven Words In The Background

You Meant Evil The "L" Word Grace

Us In A Nutshell 21 Days Waiting

Truth Or Consequence Fleecing My Heart Embrace

In Your Eyes Shadow 7th June

F.A.C.T. You Can't Change Yesterday Promise

Ours Warms The Heart Count It All Joy

Fall, Butterflies View - True? My Journey Back To Joy


Getting Personal

BOOK ONE

PAIN



Uniform Words



Each one is unique

Speaking its own way

How then to conform

To another's flow

Words straight-laced and jackbooted

Marching in perfect rhythm

Sequence, form - rhyme, time

What a dull and ugly thud

Stop your ears

At the sound of the modern poem

The sound of an enforced norm

Sound of a Nazi end





Artcage



I reject your artificial restraint

Of meter, verse and rhyme

Created to cage the soul of art


Does it improve by being chained

Confined, suppressed, meekly submitting

Else reduced to madness


Dashing itself against the bars

If art is not to cease

The soul must fly free


Or die





Firstborn



Such an ugly deed

That left its mark

Permanently etched in me


A lonely wood

Against a tree

You came, surprise so sweet


How could I know

A dozen years

Does not a mother make


Bleeding, stumbling

Crawling for help

Returned to find you - gone


Boy or girl

I'll never know

I died that day with you


And every day

And ever will

For a love I never knew





Biff



To my missing baby brother

Frozen in the snow

With a girl you tried to rescue

Only you could be so stupidly romantic

You meant so well

So unprepared

Drifted, or driven, off the road

Why did you go

You were just too kind

Too easily led astray

No defenses

Why did I let you go

Too deep in pain to

Help with yours

Cold

Under the snow





My Dad



I dreamed you were still alive

All last year

You would come to me

Variations of the same theme

Your toothless smile as I rejoiced

You cut me down to size

I live just down the street

I'm only two blocks away

I'm in the room next door

Why don't you come and see me more

The heartbreak when I awake

Then I wonder...Are you here

Or am I coming to you

Where "white-man's ways" don't matter

We're stripped down to our souls

All will face the reckoning

We'll find out where we go

Judged by a perfect G-d

On who we chose below

Did you choose Jesus?





The Bus



My father's shoulders

His joy and love

He proudly reads the sign

On the street corner

"Hollywood"

My mother's legs

As we stand in line

You come and pull my curls

Speak in a language

I don't understand


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