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Khali Raymond

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Copyright ©2017 YTER/x Surreal Dreamz Inc. All rights reserved.

First Edition, 2017


The time was 3:43 am, I think it was.

I forgot which day it was.

I had this in mind at 3:43 am.

Still at odds, trying to beat a summer cold

Up restless, so stressed.

Momma and her issues,

Burning me out to the point of emptiness.

Why can’t she ever treat me like a human being

Instead of making me fill shoes that I can’t fit?

I hate that her bum ass husband is in the equation

But that’s okay.

Use it as motivation, a close friend told me.

But even I know

I think that person is taking advantage of me, physically.

Let’s not discuss that yet.

I thought of this at 3:43 am.

Maybe 4:44 was my inspiration

But this paved the way to tell my story.

Through poetry

And hopefully maybe lay down a few sequences.

I’m still improving my rap skills.

Just wait on it, I’ll drop something hot.

My hunger for more

Just keeps me twiddling my pen.

I just want to be happy

But even I know…

That comes with a price.

This is something coming.

It was 3:43 am.

The prophecy to write more books came live.

The prophecy to draw myself to the person I’m destined to be with, whoever that may be.

I looked at the clock.

It’s 3:44 now.

There’s None of That

I’m not the kind of person you think that you can take advantage of.

I’m not the kind of person you can try to get over on.

There’s none of that.

You think that you can sit up here

And lay all up under me.

Just to do our thing.

No communication, just all that.

Were you planning on that when you first met me?

You think that you can jet back and forth to wherever you want to go

From my place.

There’s none of that.

I’ve been taken advantage of too many times,

you might have been the first time.

But, there’s plenty more coming.

It was bound to happen.

Did I ask for it?

It came that easy.

I’m not the kind of person who is to fall for these games.

I’m not going to jeopardize my happiness just to keep you happy.

I’m not going to go on a chase for you,

I chase money.

Pussy is a second sense.

I got options on the way

Maybe someone who will value my time

And my work

Instead of trying to finesse me for what I got.

Too many females in the past did that.

Dive into my bibliography and see that for yourself.

That’s how it flows, that’s how it goes.

There’s none of that.

I ain’t with the childishness, I ain’t with the games.

You can play them with all your other dumb ass niggas who fall for that.

Not I.

savage writer ain’t going for it.

Living Fantasy

My tenth book.

The person it’s directed to.

I kept having these visions,

I kept having these reflexes.

I predicted your birthday

I wished you well one, so that counts for something.

Still, I keep seeing you.

I keep envisioning you.

I don’t get what the deal with that is.

It may be a living fantasy.

Who knows, there may be something that’ll distract me.

Who knows, there may be someone that’ll take my mind off of this

Temporarily, of course.

But, I already know that what I’ve done is far from over.

I don’t know.

I see us together,

I see you with someone who will value you and stand by you.

I see myself with someone who will value me and stand by me.

I see us being something that can be unbreakable,

But who am I to say that?

I’m just living in a fantasy.

I’m an artist,

so women just want the artist for his artist money.

Do people ever value me for my craft?

Do they?

Do people value me as a person?

I already had one that lured me in just to fuck me.

What about everything else?

What about vibing?

I guess she really didn’t wanna vibe with me like she said she wanted to.

Maybe that’s not the case.

Maybe she’s just still trying to learn, but she should realize this.

But eh.

I’m just living in a fantasy…

I’m in another world.

I keep seeing stuff I know that won’t happen.

Fuck it.

We Have No Idea

In this hour, what am I thinking?

In this hour, what am I feeling?

It’s me up against something I can’t face.

We have no idea where this can take us.

I ask you as my audience to help me in this time of peril

A time for me to find myself.

A time for me to finally get it together, but what does anyone care?

People see me as an abomination.

People become my friend, just to become my enemy.

Girls put a ring on it, just to get a divorce.

Family becomes family, just to do me dirty.

People follow me on social media, just to unfollow or block me.

But, there’s one thing that I can never get over

Or better yet

There’s one thing that can never get over on me

And that’s my ability to write.

I can put it down like nobody else.

On god, I can put the shit down.

I’m putting it down like crazy, I’m thirty books deep into this.

This is number 28.

We have no idea

Where this writing can take me.

All I know is

I envision a life of peace, a life of structure.

I envision a life of fulfillment.

I want to one day get out of Newark

and raise my future family in a place where they won’t have any worries about life.

I just want to be a good role model for my people, my race.

Not even just my race

But I want to be a role model for everyone.

Of course, my supremacist brothers will not approve of me saying that.

I don’t care.

I wasn’t taught hate, my heart is too big for that.

I’m not a black writer.

I am a writer.

I do this for everyone, and not just myself.

But you have no idea of that…

The Bricks & You

In the city, where the both of us live.

We’re split up in different directions,

Grew up in different sections.

Came from different walks.

I don’t know about you or me,

Someone else is there right now.

It ain’t me.

As for my situation, I’m still at odds with my identity.

I’m juggling eggs and spikes

With my family, about how my mom is getting ready to replace me.

With my family, about how various people in my family want to belittle others.

Other than me.

I don’t want to talk about that.

With my love life, how women are so materialistic.

With my love life, how women are quick to frame you for sexual harassment.

I’m juggling these spikes with my identity

Do I know myself?

What do I know about myself?

How much do I know about myself?

Do I even know about myself?

I just hope we can get through this together in time.

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