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Traces of Autumn

Jen Selinsky

Copyright © 2006 by Jen Selinsky

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Cover Art Copyright © 2004 by Jen Selinsky

ISBN: 9781370900718



*Not every poem included in this book is dated in chronological order. This is not an oversight on my part. Rather, I have made changes and substitutions over the years.

-J.L.S.



You have given me so much—

Oh, so much to look forward to

Since you have entered my life.

Days and nights sinking into

Desperation, you have saved me

From despair.

Who knows how things may

Have gone if I continued

On this downward spiral?

I would rot in an early grave,

A slave to this negativity.

But, oh, love has put an end

To it all and made me realize my worth,

Thus making me complete.

5/24/04



My life, I must not live the rest

Of it in vain, lest the aftermath

Drives me insane.

I must travel to the point of which

I am most happy.

Ten, five years ago I was not at

My emotional height.

When people learned of my plight,

They will tell me to break free—

Free from the burden that settles

Into my brain.

The rest of my life free of cynicism,

Which allows me to hide my best

Qualities from the world.

5/20/04



Oh, your departure makes me sad,

Although I am glad to know of the

Promising future ahead.

Your life, may it be full and

Prosperous—you have given so

Much to the world, who should

Be giving back to you.

Hard work and dedication have

Seen you through.

May your life give you

All the promises of the world!

5/24/04



Peace in my heart, I slowly

Ascend the stairway which

Has caught my attention.

Heart pumping and strong

Legs forward, I am thrilled

At the excitement that

Promises to be mine.

All these years I have waited.

Now, I can reap the rewards

Of this splendid progress.

Tremble on, oh limbs, for you

Are a part of someone who

Pulled herself up by her bootstraps!

5/24/04



So young, so much promise,

I can hold onto my opinion

And say that you’ll go far.

You have come such a long way

Since your birth.

And in your achieved fame;

You have kept your great modesty

And positive attitude.

You should not feel despair

At the things which may not be clear

Because you still have the chance

To pull yourself up even more.

Live for the moment and take life

By the horns.

Your happiness depends on you!

*dedicated to Justin Guarini

5/24/04



Coupled.

Do you still see the whole picture

In the grand scheme of things?

I have almost done my time,

But I am not ready to make such

A hard decision.

So much pressure and so little

Time to lose, this is the most

Special—one woman in her twenties.

I can see where this is leading to—

All this scared confusion has me

Running to the corner.

I need Organization to help me

Though this, soon.

5/24/04



Have I hidden myself to your satisfaction?

Blending in with the works, wondering

If I could possibly be anymore silent.

Did you happen to notice that painting on the wall?

Reflective of life, reflective of my being—

A fancy piece of art, or a tasteless lie.

How can I leave this for you to decide when

I know that your judgment is impaired?

Speaking of things that are not fair,

I think I should take the prize.

One with one less rib, he who spells out

Dominance pertaining to only God’s first

Of human creation.

What about the second, who is proven

To work just as well?

Should she be denied all the glory (that should

Be hers) because of the differences between

The legs?

Protected, strong, and going on to continue her work.

That will never change, I think that it’s time

You saw the light!

5/24/04



Whatever has been said has

Been replaced with such an unkind demand.

Who is left to reprimand in this dire

Time of need?

I feel these little pinpoint pressures

Burdening the outside of my skin,

Curdling all the blood therein.

These people say that they have a

Demonstration they would like me to see.

Logic has failed me!

I cannot make sense of the muffled

Screams and incoherent talk.

This is quite a shock to see my future

In shambles all because of this miscommunication.

5/24/04



Let It Stand

Through thick and thin,

Our friendship has endured

Trying times.

But strength and a deep caring

Have held us together through

The years.

These years we call our own,

These later years of our youth,

Unmistaken and brought to mind.

Through the nights we laughed,

And the nights we cried.

Others cannot mistake or

Second guess a friendship so

Deep and a power so strong.

All through the time we have managed

To get along, and that is a most

Splendid thing!

5/25/04



This is a special moment

Reserved in time

For someone so dear

And so very near.

My little angel, my precious

Gift from God, you have

Brought me so much love,

Joy, and, laughter.

My precious pearl in the oyster,

My diamond in the rough,

Sometimes your simplicity brings

Me back to my days of youth.

And I feel so blessed to have

You in my life, my little one.

*dedicated to Ashley

5/25/04



While your eyes were still closed,

I came over to you and leaned over

To whisper in your ear.

I could have sworn that you stirred,

As if you heard every word I said.

Your mind might be contemplating

What might happen—what we would

Be doing if we were awake

Conscious is our time, we could

Do it with whatever we please;

Let us have the best of it all!

5/25/04



Ah!

I am visiting the past,

And I am thanking God

That I changed my life

For the better.

I may not have the best of it now,

But it would be horrible to have

To live the nightmares of my

Parents during my youth.

5/25/04



Today I want you to

Realize just how special

Your life must be

Today God wants you to know

And feel all the love He has

For you.

Even though each year you

Lived represents one of

Your best attributes, I cannot

Continue to count your deeds

To infinity.

But my love for you measures

My appreciation, which is also

Traceable to the heavens.

And a part of that is brought back

To me because I got to have you

In my life.

Just like destiny puts us together,

The perfect pair!

*dedicated to Toni Selinsky

6/29/10



(I wish you) peace on this special day,

As God turns all His sight upon all

Your good deeds—seeing their way

To heaven’s light.

May all your efforts be rewarded;

Your heart can’t seem to miss.

Wrapped up in sheer delight at the

Thought of this heartfelt bliss.

I may not be there in body, but my

Heart stepped in its place.

I don’t need to be in physical reach

To explore you in fond embrace!

*dedicated to Marjorie Clark

6/30/04



Allow me this time to say

That I’m sorry; allow me

This time to say that I care.

When the distance seems to

Be growing wider, please

Know that it’s not because

You are in my heart as my

Nearest and dearest friend.

*dedicated to Jen Bauer

7/9/04



I do not have to worry about

Shielding my heart from the pain.

As all odds go in my favor to gain

My dreams dragged through a mire—

With the accomplishments to which

I aspire to make my life better

Than what some might have thought it

Would be.

I have made it, despite any odds that

Played against me, but I still have a

Ways to go until I reach the status of

Human ideal.

7/9/04



I feel the need, I cannot surpass

The urge anymore.

All these bells going off in my head.

Emotion, the very fact which makes me

Glad to be alive.

I want to set up to greet the coming

Of each new day and all the beautiful.

People this earth has housed

We should smile at the good fortune.

Of our neighbors and recognize our

Common thread—humanity of which

We should be grateful to share.

8/13/04



Whatever happened to him—

The man that I used to know?

Time surrounding my questions

And my thoughts.

I hope that he has moved on,

Overcoming those difficult

Obstacles in his life.

He shall be someone’s husband,

Someone’s father, and I will be

Glad to hear of the good news.

Through parted, (we) arrive again,

As friends, and tell each other

Our life stories.

8/13/04



Fluttering eyelids—

Lead to a sky scraper

Breathing its breath and

Stretching its lean figure.

Between the grass and the clouds,

Fingertips searching for the

Stratosphere before they

Are restored to their proper

Location.

Breath fills the belly with air

Until one can see the bony

Frame shrinking.

Concrete legs, solid and

Strong go forth to meet the

Prospects and inquiries of the day.

While arms sway in the loose breeze,

The tower windows open wide.

Look to warn this giant of any

Peril that would happen to

Cause disturbance.

Nothing from which to retreat,

This large being goes about the

Numerous tasks of the day.

Approaching comfortable familiarity,

It rushes, stirring further the breeze,

To something of which it is attached.

Colored streamers floating behind,

Catching the sun.

Great doorway partially open, as it

Lets out a contented sigh.

8/13/04



The immense gladness

Going through me is nothing,

Compared to solid joys of

Which I sing.

Human voice rivaled to

The songs of other creatures;

I can attest to the fact that one

May feel the gladness.

Enough to celebrate in song

Uplifting the voices of immaculate.

Choirs to ring through heaven’s

Gates to charm the divine beings

With our humble, but earthly tune.

8/13/04



Through the greater standpoint

Of the whole of my mind’s functions.

Having this on, oh how it raises

My ability to think and ponder life’s

Great puzzles.


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