Excerpt for Opening the Doors by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Opening the Doors

Jen Selinsky

Copyright © 2015 by Jen Selinsky

All rights reserved by the author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior permission of the copyright holder.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover Art Copyright © 2015 by Travis Potts

ISBN 9781370752553



Opening the Doors was my first poetry book which I had published. The inspiration for the book’s title came from a William Blake quote, and I was also thinking of one of my favorite bands, The Doors. The title was also appropriate in the respect that this was my debut book, which would open the doors for so much more to come!

A good friend of mine, Chris LoBue, helped me make this dream a reality. Not only had he found out about Great Unpublished (now CreateSpace), but he helped me put the entire thing together.

One of the most laborious tasks included him reading my handwritten poems from the first fourteen of my poetry books! That, in itself, was a great sacrifice, especially since Chris felt he had to be on the lookout for what he thought were my “best” poems.

Another great thing which Chris did for me was order business cards from Vistaprint. Each card had my name and listed me as an author right above the title of my book. The card even contained a brief description of Opening the Doors. The design he chose was terrific because it contained a set of keys placed down on a white surface. It had a nostalgic, yet modern feel.

Since this was in 2001 and e-books were not readily available, people ordered physical copies Opening the Doors online. Even though this was my first book, and I was really ambitious, I was not really dismayed when only friends and family purchased copies. In all honesty, I did not expect that any others would purchase the book. I paid for and ordered some copies and distributed to people for $10.00 each. I did something similar with A View of Dreams when I first published that title a year later.

I feel that enough time has passed since the first edition of Opening the Doors was released, so it is time to make an updated copy in order to make it available for a larger audience.

The original book did not include the following things for each, individual poem: titles, dedications, indicators of source for previous publication, and the dates completed.

In sticking with the content of the original book, the page spacing, author bio., description, and rough draft wording are as they were in 2001. I have not included those four things in this reissue; they can be found in my other books in which the poems were originally written the published. I did, however, go back and punctuate each poem with a period, which I did not do until my recent, final revisions of all my titles.

I’ve also added some new and previously unpublished poems, which are dated. (For those of you who may be interested, the original edition of Opening the Doors can still be purchased on Amazon.)

In addition to adding some new poems, I am including the original notes which came with the first publication. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of my first great labor!

2015



This is for all of those who have loved, supported, and inspired me throughout my life.



The goddess of war, wisdom, and craft.

The wisest of Greeks, daughter of Zeus,

You are my muse.

Give me your wisdom and sympathy

Guide me through the lands of Greece,

And let me lead a good life.

Let me show hospitality to all my guests

As they would do the same for me.

Of all the gods and goddesses,

You are the one who has sponsored me.

I give thanks to Zeus who has given you birth.

Through his forehead, you’ve gained his knowledge,

And I have obtained it from you

Thanks to you, O’ goddess of wisdom,

I now can say that I am satisfied.



Your face is so charming, and I can’t believe that you’re here.

Come hither and give me a kiss; I haven’t seen you for a long time.

It’s been weeks, no, months since I felt your last embrace

Your kisses and hugs are greatly missed.

What have you done with the ones you owe me now?

You devil, you handsome rogue, I know all your silly games.

Give me more of your love when we get to my place

Break out the champagne…



No sky, even containing that of the greatest hue,

Is more lovely in appearance and charm than you.

I can compare you to a goddess high,

For no other than you may kiss the sky.

This day of honor shall last all year ‘round.

The soil on which you walk is considered holy ground.

In all the things you do, loving us is of the best.

This is a day on which you earned a lot more than the rest.

No other person’s as caring, and no soul shall replace yours,

For it is you, Mother, that everyone adores.

From when we were young to our present day of age,

You took the lead role in acting out on stage.

When I’m old and grey, I’ll lift my head above.

It is you, my dear, that I shall always love…



Of all the gifts God has bestowed upon me,

I have you to thank Him for the most,

For who else has loved me so?

All these years you have guided me

And played a significant role.

The past can reflect itself

And always reveal your face.

I’ll forever cherish your sweet embrace.

The true miracle was obviously your day of birth,

And I’m constantly thanking God for putting you on this earth



Oh that damn spider,

How I’ve tried all day to stomp it!

The world goes too fast

For me to comprehend.

The beast comes closer now;

How it annoys me.

I try not to get away;

I just stand there and

Wait for it to end…



For whom should I weep and wet my pillow with tears?

Should it be my mother, who tries to have her way?

My beloved or my confidant,

Against each other and doubling me in pain?

Endless nights, I wonder what has gotten into me.

My eyes are shut, and blood spurts out

Because my poor heart aches.

Deciding whom I choose to “be my best” is a painful task indeed!

Oh, should it be my sister and father

Who both think they have the best in mind?

They silence the tongue of the official,

But speak of the other two cast into flames.

And, my darling girl cannot hear me

Nor does she have the ability to speak.

All the outsiders may give me grief,

And they each have their own thing to say.

Oh, make me independent of any and all my underlings,

For my tears shall dry only under a certain kind of command.

God’s word has its way to delivering the best of things.

Bitterness is put right to the side because all the mortals don’t matter

For He loves us all, each and every one!

Though hurt and pain are abundant in our veins

Whatever sufferings we encounter during this life,

We are sure to make up for in heaven.

I know my faith is not the best that it could be,

But I give my heart in all that I do.

Each day, I learn to love so much better,

For that is the reward which God has given me.



Misguidance is a huge problem in our society today

Because the world’s population is decreasing in intelligence.

Oh, say you’ll help us return to a haven true

In which our thoughts will flow like words from the mouths.

The queen is stirring, and the whole throne awaits.

All we need to do now is collaborate (together)

And journey to the place of which we all dream.

Dare to come with us, and keep your aspirations high,

For the land in which we’ll dwell requires much originality.

Swim in the cool waters that represent my name,

And you’ll have no shame; you’ll have no shame.

Soothing and assuasive the cool winds seem to blow.

I can’t let it go, my mind cannot let it show

The fear of this strange, new world has penetrated my mind.

But, I’ve got to give it a try, for who knows what else is to come?



Amongst the thorns and the roses,

I find love just as well as hate.

I play a confused role in the valley of life

In which I dwell—where the conflicts reside.

The plants grow high above me,

But I never know which to climb.

My soul is not dead, unfeeling or unconscious,

For I worry about the right path most of the time.

The maple trees of green embrace and give life,

But they don’t make the decisions.

Are the tiger lilies a good place to start,

Or should I go over by the daffodil?

This life, I live, undecided,

So I seem to avoid all the roses I find.



Please hold me, I’m cold,

And I need you in my arms.

The chill is nipping at my bosom,

And the frost has frozen upon my hair.

But, your arms are so warm.

They give me all I need.

Nourish me, protect me,

And I’ll do the same for you.

I’ve got a shield right in my hands

And a cross upon my head.

You shall be free from all kinds of harm,

For nothing will even come close.

Only myself will the danger approach,

But I shall soon cast it away!

Let me love you, my dear,

Please do the same for me.

I’ve got you here in my sights,

Nothing else could be as grand.

Just hold my hand, oh please, hold my hand.



A man of genius, dexterity, and a gentle personality.

Sensitive, intelligent human being true to our senses.

No one should mock your personality and beliefs.

Non-conformity is good in a some respects.

Our hearts shatter to pieces as your voice is heard and remembered.

Consuming little by little and piece by piece,

Society has tried to mimic (your voice)—

All different by presence.

Awkward obscurity of your companions,

Stereotypical instances.

Your generation has delivered

True, and sometimes obstreperous in a transcendentalist mind.

Men of concupiscence, with the same response.

We are not dead!

A resurrection has reassured others (such as your kind).

Collaborate together to take over and re-create human significance.

Beautiful be your mind, body, and face,

As the whole world may bask in the being of your grace.

No memory is dead as immortalization takes place.

Even after the Renaissance,

Your beauty grows forever.

Others may criticize and ridicule,

Only to cede to you in a portion of their minds.

The intensity has reached the point of which there is no turning back,

No turning back from those who have sacrificed their beliefs.

The other alternative for yourself—

We have been glad of it.

Conceal the rabid dogs that run wild

For giving of the wrong intention.



Your touch is so close to me,

And my breath’s just a heartbeat away.

And, I wish that things could change.

Everything here is just so strange

After the last night we had –

The words so far and between.

I never meant to do anything hurtful;

I never meant to say anything mean.

So can we wipe away our tears

And go on with the way things were meant to be?

I cannot take the silence too much longer

Just say a word, (any word),

Something simple and pleasing to comprehend.

Only time can make such amends.

Don’t abandon me!

Please find some time to return my call…



The sun will always shine

As long as you love me.

The skies will always be blue

As long as our love is true.

Watch me as I come further into your arms for salvation,

And the moon shall not disturb us in our bliss.

Prove ever so true to me, darling,

And heaven’s golden bells shall ring for us both.

I don’t know how long we have,

But our emotions shall go on through time.

For as long as you love me,

Everything will be just fine

Trust in your heart and know.



I feel as if I’ve died a thousand deaths

In truth and boldness before.

My audacity has killed me,

And it shall do so even more.

My veins are severed

So no blood can reach my brain.

My eyes are sewn shut,

So I cannot see the pain.

Worst of all, I cannot breathe

Because my liberty’s taken away.

Intensified effects

Include a loss of sanity,

And it’s with the world

I can no longer deal.

No more emotions of good

Are left to feel.

Mixed blood and tears

Mix with mud that’s

On the ground,

But, out of my mouth,

Comes no distinctive sound.

I miss the days of

Which I had a choice,

And I want to recollect some fame.

Perhaps, one day in the distant future,

I’ll no longer have to hold

Down my head in shame.



Concupiscent angels

Watch them fall from the clouds,

Unto the earth.

They have sinned, but they couldn’t have resisted.

Partake of the heavenly experience,

But bite not the hand that feeds you.

The earth is foul and unforgiving,

But heaven is all the angels know.

Experience is understanding,

And angels are grand.

No perfection, but they go under God

These humans are destined for heaven,

So let them go.

Do not restrain the wandering bards.



Have you ever had a horrible feeling in your heart?

The whole world may explode within seconds!

Your pancreas quivers, and your entire body shakes.

Your lower intestine feels like bloody annihilation;

The upper half feels as if it has traveled to high.

POUNDING, BEATING, THROBBING!

Nausea, and the warm waters of the rainforest

Seem to run down your forehead.

THE WHOLE WORLD SEEMS TO BE SPINNING!

Your nauseous stomach pours out the remains

Body cells, trying to fight off bacteria.

Delirious, mad, mad!

How could this be?

When red blood cells are bonded to form,

All this feeling is over because you’re well again.



Why did you look at me?

I could swear I was invisible.

You had your last thoughts

And I got rid of the words.

All you saw was my left eye, surrounded by darkness,

In the garage you looked that time.

Do you remember the day I stood in your driveway, naked?

Why did you stare at my eye?

Why is it that you chose to exist?

I wanted to be alone, and I wanted to test you.

It’s funny how the sun is shining outside,

And rain falls on me in your garage.

Sometimes, I want no meaning,

And, sometimes, I yearn to live.

My hair and shoulders feel the cold drops,

Penetrating into my skin; I hold myself.

Turn your eyes away from me

And look in another direction;

I want to remain here, alone…



Of all the colors of the world,

We celebrate a different hue.

Each sunset is represented

By the eyes we all see through.

Let me play in the sky

And bounce from cloud to cloud.

The day is waning,

And I’ve not yet had my fun.

Who knows when the next good time will come?

There’s no sense in wasting all my energy now

Nothing new is presented –

No challenges about to form.

I’ll get my kicks only when fate sees fit (to present).

But, for now, this meeting is adjourned.



Like a small rodent run rampant in a cage,

My heart is beating at the ultimate speed.

Like that of a mighty steed,

I’m not sure if it’ll ever slow down.

Let’s not run into such rash decisions

Because I need some time to think.

Persistence will get you nowhere.

Thus ends another day,

The complete element of surprise,

And I feel as if I’m going to my demise.

My thoughts are awkwardly changed

Because nothing shall be the same.

In the remainder of the time that I have,

I would like to go out with a bang.

I want to be loved and remembered

In as many ways as possible,

But this is not quite what I had in mind.

Sacred, and demanding your lies have affected me.

I don’t know which direction I should go

Because my thoughts are so confused.



Such hatred, I am going to get you!

How many times do you think you can ruin my life?

How many times do you plan on getting away?

I want to shove you.

Oh, I want to punish you.

The fires in my soul are burning,

And only one thing can quench

My flames.

To eliminate you would be ideal, and

That’s just what I plan to do

To destroy you.

And I shall do so when the darkness weakens

And the horizons lower at last…



Hey there, my friend, here’s

A job that will never end,

Get sick for only one day.

Build noon-job pies and peppermint lies

Which grow in the fields of your way.

No need to wonder, just follow the thunder

And never let people ask “why?”

Or cut off your hair, lay naked and stare

At the sun as others pass by.

Stand outside while the heavy wind blows.

Pick up your sister’s dress and shove it up your nose.

Tie your dog’s tail to that of a cat;

Let them lose in the forest and wonder where they’re at.

Don’t get upset, please, don’t get mad;

Go into the house and annoy your dad.

Pick up your toys and clean up your room, and

Don’t be hesitant to dance with the broom!

Now here is a joke that no one has heard;

Take off your shoes and act like a nerd.

Comb up your hair to scare away the birds,

And comb it up again, such reactions and such words!

Pull down your pants and run ‘round screaming, then

Pinch yourself and proclaim you’re only dreaming.

Go swim in a pond and act like a fish, for

Nothing could be more ridiculous than this!



On a certain day, in May,

I was blessed by the heavens above,

For an angel was sent to the earth.

Though small in appearance,

He was rather large at heart,

And the same is still true to this day!

How blessed I am to have such a delight,

Yet, before my time was his arrival.

Before his time, the world was dark,

But he uplifted and brought forth heaven’s light!

A rose would not smell as sweet

Without his graceful presence,

For diamonds would be insignificant if he did not exist.

The whole world alone would be null, void, and mundane

If I was not graced with such a bright star!



Stare into the sky during the night

And what do you see?

Fear, anger, pain, love or beauty?

Exactly.

You see what you desire.

Fear it not, or fear it well.

So be, and let the boundaries of your imagination expand.

See not what others think of this damaged world of human light,

Only to find the stars shining above.

Look into the sky, my child, and come with me!

I will show you what it means to be yourself.

Close your eyes, and face upward.

Now tell me, what do you see?



I’ve crashed into the sun,

And it’s broken all to pieces.

Your help is required

To put it back together.

Give me peace

As I reconstruct the miracle

That once existed.

I find a hidden soul

As birds fly in the air.

Could I find a place of sanctuary?

I need time to recover,

For the heat is piercing my mind.

Your eyes see through my translucent attire

As I bend down and look into your eyes.

I have no soul,

For it has flown away with the others…



I plant a tree for success in hopes that it will grow

To be one with the humanity of earth would be so splendid –

To share my identity with those who are surrounding

I’d love to see what the future will have in store

When I roam the earth…



So loud, but so far off

Is the sound of another heart breaking.

I can hear it with my own ears,

Just as clear as the falling of a tree.

I can do nothing within the silence

Because my range of hearing has failed me.

Go between the spaces and intervals

To find what you are not looking for.

I’ll be on the inside, waiting…



How many words does it take to say “I love you”?

How should I say that I want to be yours?

Your beauty and mind are far worth

My quality care.

How should I say “I love you”?

How can I prove my faith?

Your radiance is enchanted.

God made something special, and

I will do anything for you.

Can I hold your heart?

You play yourself in such significant ways.

O,’ could you be the one?

A wonderful human being

Who moves the ground on which he walks.

My muse and motivation, how can I say that, “I love you”?



My love has come down to save me

And take away all the sins that I’ve done.

Through God, alone, he has achieved this miracle,

For no one else could have saved my soul.

No longer am I the vicious demon I claimed myself to be,

I’ve turned myself around.

Still, I need a few lessons in learning how to love,

Lord, please give me patience with peace – the sign of the dove.

Let him know what it means to pledge the undying vow.

God give him strength and have me teach him now.

We both have made much progress

And have so much to show.

God grant us the wisdom to keep you

And the sense to keep loving each other.



All along the weary world we do run,

In search of something that is valuable.

I must claim submission, day is done.

I am striving to get my mind stable.

The sun does not blind the determined eye,

Nor does the moon tend to get in the way.

My soul is bewildered, so I can’t fly

What’s here to determine this single day?

Almost through, I see you in the nighttime.

No cloud or misty fog is in my way.

The world to explore is in perfect rhyme.

My goals I cannot have them leave, but stay.


This journey leads to a successful bend.

Hold this true to my heart, until the end.



I am

Simply not

Good enough for myself.

The world is a large competition.

Sometimes,

The dice

Fall hard upon my head.

My mind, most of the time,

Is fried.

I wish that my self-confidence

Could be enhanced.

Realism tugs at my burdened heart.

Idealism is a roadblock that’s sometimes in my way.

My procrastination

Is a major problem.

A better physical appearance

Is what I always want to possess.

Emotions of all sorts

Are seen as being my enemy.

I often cry

And wish that my life could be better.

Friends of mine

Are true,

But my mind is envious.

I ignore and walk away.

Perhaps, the solution to this problem is simple.

My perception

Could be

So much better.

I should pick myself up and start all over again.



To define the mystery of love

Is to define the mystery of fate.

You want a complete sentence in my mind,

And nothing I shall get rid of.

Oh, darling, catch my soul;

Catch my lips as they breathe your name.

Nothing shall ever be the same

As I shut my eyes for a few moment’s rest.

Ciao…

In good regards, I wish you nothing but the best.



My head’s upon the pillow, and I am ready to dream.

Stars leap into my mind as the sky turns dark blue.

Hold me now in the romantic moment;

Hold me now before the sky changes its hue.

Engage with me in deep conversation

As I look into your sparkling eyes

That are reflected by the light of the moon.

We’ll be here until the end of the night…



Do you remember when I held your hand?

Do you remember the nights we spent in each other’s embrace?

Oh, how I yearn and long to relive those memories,

Yet the impossible day has started.

Darling, how could I forget you

When the memory stands so clear in my mind?

It’s far too hard to say adieu

When the petals from flowers fall,

So does the reincarnation of hope.

Your love was all,

This is a new feeling of which I cannot cope

Do you remember how our love was?

Unconditional?

Undying, and the finest of all?



Are you asleep again;

Do I have to wake you from your slumber?

I know how comfortable everything tends to be

When your body and mind take a temporary vacation.

But I have to get an answer to the question.

Time is ticking away with the clock’s sinister hands.

More of that comfort could be spent in better company

If you’d just do that one thing…



I reach my hand out to you

In hopes that you may need it someday.

Oh, give the fresh wounds a little time to heal,

And watch me patiently with those anticipating eyes.

Your new fascination lies in my direction,

And I am trained to take you in.

Long awaiting, the arrival of the golden wrath.

The shower of a god, and the sun shines down in my face.

Rain is far from reaching my boundaries.

That day will come, that day will soon reach my senses,

Numbing my skin from the harmful elements.

I grow wings from my shoulders and fly far away…



Has anyone experienced the same pain that you have?

Anyone in this whole, bloody world?

I am the goddess; I am the portrayer.

Let death come slowly to those who don’t want it,

And fast for those who do.

I’m sick of myself, looking at you in my deceitful manner.

Maybe, sometimes, we’re alive.

That’s not even enough to die;

I can’t go.



You decided to take me into consideration

Because you thought that I was the best.

I knew that you could trust my instincts;

Nothing else has brought you here.

Decide for now the future and the past.



I’m not quite ecstatic to see you at my door

Because you have instilled faith inside me no more,

Yet I’ll be hospitable; I’ll give you all I can.

My treasures, my love, my joy can see

Within the hourglass – inside the sand.

At this time I’m wondering as to why you chose me.

Aren’t there any others around that you could see,

Is there anywhere else you can be free?

I don’t have time to argue, even though I have time to debate

As to what has given me such a fate.

I see you standing there, not yielding to my respects,

with one, cold stare.

Descending up my stairs and looking through my house,

The one thing that you need is not hidden inside my blouse,

Or in my closet doors, ‘neath my bed, or on the floor.

But, you must find it in your heart, if, by some chance

You are willing to believe that I am the only one

Who can help you through the faith that you can receive in your heart,

Or any other organ that moves to the beat of the drum.



Even though I didn’t know the outcome,

I still gave it a try.

So many things were new to me,

And when I fell I did not cry.

A mighty voice rings through the land,

“I am here,” it had cried.

No other thing matters so much to me

Now that I know I had tried.

People could laugh and ridicule,

But I don’t care what they say.

It’s only their problem because they are so cruel

My fears are going to be shoved out of the way!

So long as I remember,

So long as it can be.

I came, I saw, I tried.

Now nothing can hinder me!



All I ask is for God to lead me the way.

The rest I can do for myself,

For in my heart His Son shall stay.

The challenges life presents are nothing great to fear

But they are to be taken seriously.

I know, somehow, that everyone is listening—

That God has given us the power to perceive.

Please take my advice and put your trust in the Lord,

And He will take away all burdens.

Paradise is promised to all of those who wait…



Little inklings leak out of my pen,

And now my secret’s exposed.

A finer lust takes control of my life,

And I’ve only reached the beginning.

Words can be so profound.

Sometimes, speech is underrated

And snubbed by written word.

Please tell me that no one remembers

All the words that I had said.

We’ve got to go our separate ways

So that life can go on.

Do I make myself clear?



A broken promise is a broken heart,

And you think you have something to lose.

I know better; there is a cure;

It includes excitement and a will to choose.

I’ve got you in focus,

So you can never stray too far from my sight.

How odd it is that we all want different things.

But, if we were all the same,

Life would be so mundane.

I’m going to be estranged

From the family and from the blood.

It’s all going to be swept away in the flood.

Let me take one more look at you

So that my soul can be free.

What is the meaning of all these different writings?

I intend for myself to consist of me.



Witness with wonder of the forest at large

A beautiful environment that is as big as a barge.

It should be free from the clutches of hate.

Destroying the wilderness could alter one’s fate.


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