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Fury Storm

Jen Selinsky

Copyright © 2007 by Jen Selinsky

All rights reserved by the author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior permission of the copyright holder.

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Cover Art Copyright © 2011 by Travis Potts

ISBN: 9781370637003



*Not every poem included in this book is dated in chronological order.  This is not an oversight on my part. Rather, I have made changes and substitutions over the years.

-J.L.S



Catch a roof full of dreams!

2001



Welcome, friend, come share with us

Your tales.

Take off your coat and warm your feet

By the fire.

There’s some food on the table

If you’re hungry…

…Now let us hear of your travels

Over some glasses of wine.

And don’t forget to include every detail—

All the hills you climbed and all the

Streams you’ve crossed.

Now I know you’ve been wounded

And mocked by the evil crowds.

People forced their labors upon you

And spat right in your eye.

You’ve been ridiculed enough to

Make the strongest man break

(Down and cry).

But I am here for you,

Brother, and I will

Gladly take you in.

Be it shelter, or warmth, or comfort,

Anything that you request you shall

Have on my behalf.

And do not worry about how to

Pay me back, for having a companion

Like yourself is reward enough for me.

11/14/00



The strongest of all nights,

Coming to me in crimson and flame,

Burning with desire to end it all.

Part of the galaxy I shall become

No bodily movements,

Just a little, white speck

In the blanket of the sky

It holds me.

But I want to fall to the earth

And be away from the others.

Oh! I can’t take it anymore!!

Why can’t I be left alone

At the bottom of some pond,

Where the fish

Can swim all over me

And they are my only friends?

Some night, it shall come to me.

The destination for

Which I am created

Is going to knock on my door.

Just one small moment of insanity

Can deliver me

From the eye of the truth

Out of the celestial sphere I am

Going to fall!

The water feels so cool already;

I can taste it in my lungs!

2/7/01



Lament Over the Loss of Myself

Oh, just kill me!

Get the process over with quickly

Jam a pen into my throat,

Or a knife into my heart,

And let the blood spill out of my body

To corrupt the soil on the ground,

Where no man shall ever walk again—

Infection of a clean soul.

Alas! I have lost myself

(Or, perhaps, I’ve never had it before.)

Everything good I thought that I would be—

The idea has been knocked out of my mind,

Fallen to the ground

All because of the raging bull; it has headbutt me

In the stomach.

Down onto the earth screaming and crying

Pathetic demon that I am—

The largest waste of human flesh.

Can no part of me be useful?

Rage, envy, sadness, and fear

All built up inside my thick head.

Hit me again so that everything

Can be released.

Cruel solstice has come and gone.

Mix the red in with the white—

The greatest elements of despair.

Pink is the product of them both,

The illegitimate child of the worst

Two things combined.

Be sure to stay far, far away

From this menace—this product

Of despair.

Lament over the life that was given

Thus I bite off my skin and toss

The entrails away.

Evil may have a feast on them,

Until his stomach is full with my insides.

Could no one hear my cries in the forest,

Or did the sounds come much too late?

Muted and struggled with me wincing,

Bound up by branches of trees.

They hang up the coat of my body,

External organ blowing in the wind.

The crow has my eyeball in its beak.

Iris blue has turned my iris black.

All the other animals seem to be laughing

At me, but who could blame them

For their truest observation?

Who could blame them for the

Creation of such a mess?

The most pathetic beings

Ridiculed because she is not truly alive,

Just the most useless of them all.

Am I the only one still weeping over the

Loss of something (that was) never there?

Thus, I lie broken; nothing matters anymore.

2/7/01



It’s not a pretty picture,

What you are about to see,

Supporting death and the things

That go all around.

You have the responsibility to

Carry on the tradition;

I have the responsibility to

Leave as quietly as I can.

No more shattered sounds and

No more broken lies.

Get me out of the picture so smoothly.

Rapid movements in the other direction,

But no footsteps are following.

Part of me wishes that this was

Never true; the other part says

To move on.

I don’t know what advice I should take

Because my mind is dripping down

From the ceiling.

No, it’s not really a pretty picture here,

So I suggest you go away…

2/21/01



Now that I’ve hit my nadir,

There’s no telling what I’ll do.

What craziness will enter my mind

When I turn my head and stop looking?

To life and all of its cruelties,

Who’ve got me to such a low point

I can’t even cry without watering the

Surrounding fields.

My sighs are heard all around the world

Sailing on a lake of guilt and misery,

Don’t know when I’ll have time to break.

Maybe I’ll just drown in my own sorrow

Before the world has time to consume me whole.

2/21/01



I don’t care what kind of sticks

You can fling at me?

What I need is a vacation from

The likes of your lecherous type of lying

Who needs you anyway?

Friends like yourself only need

To make me some enemies.

As far as I’m concerned, all of you

Can take a flying leap off a cliff!

Any option would please me now.

Get me out of this self-induced hell,

Before my head explodes with hatred

And confusion.

Life was never meant to be an

Oblivious pit; I don’t know what happened

I cannot see ahead.

But, thank God for Adam, who seemed

To be his finest creation.

Eve was no less superior, but her

Curious ways made this woman

Turn against her own kind.

Adam never got upset over such

Petty issues, and that is why I am glad

That God is a “He.”

Why can’t all these sticks disappear,

So that there would

Be room for more men?

2/22/01



You disgust me, vile creature

Of the swamps!

Who gave you the authority for all

These tricks you pull?

Just who do you think you are?

Laughing like a mad man, while those

With sympathy think it’s only a cry.

(They think you’re) rejected in your

Loneliness, what naive folks should

Know better.

Like pretty marionettes, these people

Are controlled—manipulated to do

Certain acts.

I’m so happy that I don’t exist within

Your realm, but I feel pity and shame

For the folks who have to put up with

Your tyranny.

I know that there is nothing I can do

About it; I can only hope that you

Will get yours in the end.

2/22/01



Alas! My poor spine is damaged,

And I’ve wandered so far from my home.

Are you simply going to stand here

And listen to my complaining, or are you

Going to do something to help so that

I can get back on my way?

Abandoned and left here for dead, I find

That my eyes can barely open

Helicopters fly overhead, and I wonder

If they’re here to rescue my soul

(Or salvage my body that’s been damaged).

Blood can clot very easily,

But the emotional

Wounds are so much harder to heal.

Is there anybody out there to

Help me get along?

How much longer do I have to

Sing this song of

Self-pity and desolation?

Lying here unable

To dress my own wounds,

Not to mention all

The pain that’s inside.

I wish for that one sensitive being to

Come my way and make everything

All right again.

God help me with my plea.

7/24/00



We all need to see you before you go away.

Time is fleeting, but we’re soon going

To have our way.

Voices floating as echoes fill my mind—

People chanting my name and the

Mysteries of the night;

Tainted images and motionless birds

In flight.

This is some of what I need in my sights

During this time.

Delusions are good for distractions—

Distractions are good for me.

[I’m in] ecstasy when I get to be alone

Instead of spreading the disease.

7/8/00



Oh, do I have to be here

When I have something

More important to do?

Words are wasting, and Time is

Going to hell.

My getaway plan is defective,

So nothing has gone too well.

Figures and numbers dancing

Around in my head.

People are crowding me,

And there’s nothing else

To be said.

7/8/00



How depressing, this day

Has got to me—just when I

Wanted to be alone.

No words assuage me, and the

People only scorn me.

I want nothing to do with them!

In your favor, however, I’m

Not going to speak to you.

Just leave me alone, and everything

May be all right.

7/8/00



I can’t quite remember how and when

We got to meet, but it must have

Been spectacular.

I knew that I had to have you,

And I knew that you

Wanted me too.

Could it have been a love at first sight?

At least, we were in lust

Because I couldn’t

Resist your body.

How much I wanted

To take you home

The first night and take advantage

Of your virtue.

But it wouldn’t have been right;

I could never do such a thing.

Now I finally have you, but where

Has all the emotion gone?

Nothing is quite

The same, and I want to

Go back to how and when we met—

Only the newest days in our love

When we first felt for each other

Can give me that feeling back.

Are you willing to

Travel through time

With me?

7/8/00



Nothing can stop me, I’m going to

The place of which I desire—further

Into the unconscious and out of the public eye,

I am oblivious to whatever happens nearby, today

Once I’ve been there before (and) I am

Determined to go back.

Just like the cat who has once been outside,

I cannot be kept in one place.

Let me hide, oh let me ride in the car

That’s been going my way.

My thumb’s in the air and it’s waving

At you, for no one can see that my feet

Have grown weary.

Oh, what I’d give to reach my destination,

Then the rest could so easily be done.

Life is only a capsule in which I hide,

For now, until I burst from my cocoon

And fly away to heaven.

7/8/00



Do you like the texture of my writing?

My hands work this way as a service

To the public.

Oh, to reach the foreign lands and touch

The highest mountain.

That would be my greatest accomplishment

How beautiful is literacy, the light to the

Darkest of truths?

It is the box in which we hold the millions

Of words, which we use to write and create.

You can never be too late when you

Reach the land of splendid words

And heights of grandeur.

To some, it may be a life-long journey,

But, to others, it may take only days.

7/8/00



With my unworthiest thought,

I made your image in my mind;

I memorized it and put it in a shrine.

What else can I do to honor you

When virtually everything is past and through?

My time here may be shorter than you think,

But dare not break the eternal link that

Holds us both together.

Oh, you mean so much to me, and

I want to show you that I care.

Nothing can stop my heart from

Loving you, and I’ll always be here

To indulge your heart’s desire,

Now and forevermore…

7/8/00



One day, you’re going to remember

That I was once right by your side.

I would have done anything for you,

Even give up my great sin of pride.

But, now my garden is barren, and

I see no reason to give.

My generation’s come to see me,

In their eyes as nothing but a lie.

Everyone thinks that I was too nice to you,

But they didn’t respond to my cry.

Now, the times have changed

And so much wiser I have grown.

I’ll only do things according to plan

So that happiness is prominent in my life.

7/8/00



You gave me such a fright today;

I thought you were going to die.

But, now, I have you right back in

My arms, and I can do nothing but cry.

I’m glad that God has decided to

Let you live, even though you’ve been

Here so long, gracing my heart.

Our love that we have for each other

Is such a work of art—sculpture built

Out of the finest marble.

Do you know how much I care for you,

My darling, little girl?

And, I would give the world if I could,

But we’ll just have to settle for

My heart right now…



*dedicated to April

7/8/00



I hope that we can be in each other’s life

Because you are so special to me.

I thank God for bringing us together,

So now we can set our hearts free.

Has anything I’ve ever told you

Had a poetic value?

Were my feelings always expressed

In such a way of gratitude?

When the storm clouds brought in

Their worst, the sun always came out

To dry the rain.

It allowed all of us to be sane!

And I am thankful for our communication

Because our happiness depends on all that.

So far as we can tell, the currents are fast

In moving by, and I think that it’s time

For us both to take a ride down to the place,

Where our love can be sealed forever.

To hell with this world; we’re not leaving

Too much behind.

7/9/00



The church bells rang,

And the crowds rejoiced

When the heroes came home from war.

Alas, some were missing

Because the gunfire got to them,

And those left behind were their

Poor mothers, sons, daughters,

And wives all gathered around

Their men because life was to

Start all over again from the love

That was present that day.

And no one would have objected

To it being that way because of

The miracle that was to happen

Shortly after.

7/9/00



The Greeks were not great citizens

Of pride, for they thought it would

Destroy their collective.

Every time I close my eyes, I am

Expecting some silence because my

Thoughts are too precious to waste.

Let us join an aristocracy so that

We can form a hierarchy.

I’ll be rid of my anxiety at last,

And we can dance on the rooftops

In glee.

I hope you can spend some time

With me before I have to go.

These journeys are too hard to go

At alone, and that’s why I need you to

Be here right by my side so that

Nothing can go wrong.

Join up with me, my brother, and we’ll

Make a strong union so that our ideas

Cannot be beat.

7/9/00



I’ve made it to this chapter, but I’m not

So sure I’m all that proud.

Everything has turned out so differently,

And I’m not sure I can keep up

With my plans.

In this chapter, I define life as

Being different, and my words are

Speaking to many more souls.

In this light, I am impervious, and nothing can

Hinder my imagination.

7/9/00



More Haiku

Free-flowing river,

How your water does soothe me;

I don’t want to leave.

7/9/00



Fast cars driving by.

We can still hear all their noise

Deep into the woods.

7/9/00



The sun’s out to stay,

No more dreary rain today.

Let’s go out and play!

7/9/00



Hold me close, my dear.

The moon shines bright this fine night—

Shining down for us.

7/9/00



A mid summer’s night.

I see who’s up to mischief;

Watch out for the sprites!

7/9/00



Pretty flowers bloom.

Pedals sing and dance for us;

What a sight to see!

7/9/00



The sunset is grand.

Colors lie across the sky;

Stay outside to watch.

7/9/00



I want to strike you; no fear

Is in my heart.

We either go at it my way,

Or I shall tear your lies apart.

True cowardice is shown

When a person relies completely on hate.

And, if you so desire, I shall take you

To the silver gate and watch your

Evil blood eat away at the bars.

I’ll be dancing on the fancy tops of cars

When I finally rid the world of your type.

Free at last and feeding my own free will;

I killed the monster and he’s never

Coming back!

7/10/00



Oh! I am undulating for you;

Let me take you into my sights.

My lips are breathing and gasping

For passion; to have you at the

Wrong time would feel so right!

I’m going to take you over, and

There’s nothing you can do to

Change my mind.

You’ll be living inside my time

Close your eyes and I shall show you

What I mean.

Your body looks so neglected; it would

Be such a terrible thing to waste.

Such a pity and such a disgrace,

Do you dare to play with the hands of time?

Now here I’ve got you; don’t try to

Escape from my hold because you

Will never succeed.

7/12/00



By nightfall, it was beautiful,

All the detail that it made.

That’s the only thing I can remember,

And that’s all I have to say.

The brightest hue is captured

In my eye, and I cannot think

Of what else to do because all

The actions just flew out of my mind.

Would anyone be so kind as to tell me

In which direction I am headed?

I have certainly lost my way; all my

Resources washed away with the tide,

And I left behind all my pride

To the next land I must sail,

In hopes that I will be able to prosper…

7/21/00



Shall I never know what it’s like to

Have beauty in my veins—

The very woman no one can resist,

No matter what method was tried

By man—to be astounding and

Guaranteed so chic.

The famous poet died for beauty,

But she made herself known in

The midst of everything surrounding.

A familiar call echoes in the hall,

I turn my head to see a smiling face

And who could it be other than the

Woman of which I recently spoke?

A gesture to come forward and receive

A warm embrace.

Thinking back on all I’ve done, now

I can see my beauty, for the mind

Is stronger than the body.

7/21/00



Is it too much for me to be made

Of fiction when the fear of dependence

Rules my life?

Nothing is whatever it appears to be;

I cannot find an escape from this world.

Too cruel lies are burning up my eyes.

Objects can change and suspend them—

Still life that can never be seen in motion

Scaly skin covers the backs of those

Whom I love.

Can my emotions be the guide to lead me

To the safest of shores?

The burden I endure is the most humiliating

Blow to mankind…

…If ignorance is bliss, why must it

Hurt so damn bad?

7/21/00



If you would just hear what I

Have to say, I’m sure you would

Side with me.

Perhaps, it’s due to the fact that

I have pushed myself for months

To become a decent human being

Lump of flesh.

Even my soul is weary, so of what

Elements am I comprised?

This could be mistaken for apathy,

Except for the fact that I actually

Care about my fate.

Still, I’m pushing my pen and

Making these monotonous phrases come out.

Quitting is not quite my thing

At this point; I need some great motivation

To allow me to go forward!

1/9/04



I hope that these lies are not lies at all;

Never trust your senses and never

Let your judgment fall.

Only God can help me through all this

Because He’s never lied to His people.

And He’s given us all a reason to devise.

All I have to give is my life, and the

Rest shall sort itself out.

The Lord takes His time to fill out

His master plan, so we should have

Some patience and some time to sing.

And, one day, when we’re not expecting anything,

God shall give us our rewards.

But some may not consider bad things

To be any good, however, He has

Taken care of them—the closer we

Get to heaven.

7/23/00



Some people have a desire to go back

To the past, but the dubious fool has

No knowledge to change it.

She can ease her fears simply by

Opening a book.

7/23/00



Relief is the best feeling and the

Greatest gift one can receive.

You never know just when it’s

Going to come along or when

It’s going to be taken away.

We simply have to learn to pray,

Or nothing else shall go right again.

And, you must believe me on this,

My friend, because nothing else is true.

I’ve tried it all and given only my mind,

But the solution is not as simple

As it seems.

I must do everything I can to start

All over again…

7/23/00



My blue eyes are leaking because

Of what you’ve done to me.

Just like an abused animal who’s

A poor slave to the cruelty of nature,

I don’t know if I can even trust

Myself anymore; it’s the scariest

Feeling of all.

Will anyone ever abolish my fears;

I don’t know if I have the power to

Do anything myself.

Life can be so unfair when trouble

Knocks on my door.

I hit the floor and scream the

Madness out of my mind; I can

Clearly see that I’m out of time.

7/23/00



If one lover does what the other says,

Then they must be true for life.

Anything says, and anything goes.

Below my mind, there’s nothing that

You can’t find; it’s all here because

Of the contradiction.

If obedience is tolerance, then I obey

Your every command.

For that reason, however, I cannot identify;

The laws must be different, coming

From any direction.

Selection burdens every man for a day.

7/29/00



I’m inspired by your fire, but the flames

Must eventually be quenched.

Water is the greatest essence of life.

In the beginning; please let me take of it

To revitalize my soul

So that it splashes all over my body

And takes all of my blemishes away.

7/30/00



It is here that I find something real;

All the wonder that heals is coming

Right off your window.

No need for me to move to another

Location because I have everything

That I need right here in my range.

7/30/00



Just like the old man who can no longer

Get it up, I feel that I’ve lost my touch.

Time has affected me with age.

I grow even worse with every new step

That I take; could something else have

Affected me this much?

Sometimes, people ask me too many questions.

And, for their own good, they shouldn’t

Get in over their heads.

Would anyone be better off dead if it

Weren’t for the present situation?

7/30/00



The river flows all the way downtown

Let us join it so that we can catch

A free ride.

What do we have to lose, we have to

Give it all we’ve got

There’s no consequences that I can think of;

Come on down with me for

A free ride.

I see that you now tremble with fear,

But I will hold you and take away

Every bad thought.

No evil is free to cross your mind,

So take a brief little nap.

I shall let you know when we arrive

Safely.

7/30/00



At first glance, you caught me blushing.

Was that your intention, to make me

Feel that way?

Just staring out the window,

Watching and wondering what you are thinking.

The seconds pass into minutes.

A forth wall is brought between us,

But the boundaries do not have their effects on me.

Slow movement comes in certain, given time,

As I notice that your attention is focused on me.

And I smile as your rest your chin on your hands,

As if you’re waiting for a lost puppy to

Return home.

I then ask myself how I’m supposed to know

What you’re thinking.

*dedicated to the man at the store

7/30/00



My eyes have taken in the sorrow,

And my soul has taken in the pain.

I washed away the sin I have committed,

But the words come back to tell me again.

What I once thought was love turned into

Jealousy and bitter hate; the rose pedals

Have fallen off.

And for whom is it that I weep?

The rivals came to finish me off,

But they have destroyed me in the

Process instead.

And, now, I am dead, while black tears

Fall onto the uncultivated ground.

8/29/00



Where were you when I needed you to

Give me the answers that I deserved?

You conspired against all that I have

Stood for and all that I was to be.

How could no one here care to join me,

The young and the free?

I might as well have a blindfold so

As to not have seen the trouble

I could have avoided.

Everything else is a blur, and the pretty

Colors have started to fade.

I now need to live in the shade of resistance

To start up a new kind of day.

8/29/00



Oh, my heavy heart is so pensive.

No sign of relief has begun to

Rear its head.

Ten days have I been in this prison cell,

And nothing’s even starting to sink in.

Do I have such an apathetic frame

Of mind as to let me rot in such sin?

I cannot tell from here what my thoughts

Are going to portray.

Divide them up into night and day

So that things can be made much simpler.

A complex mind is such a good thing

To waste only when time can

Make things easier.

9/4/00



Hast thou been a good little girl

And shut thine weary eyes?

You are to awaken in the morning

And greet the vast sunrise.

No heavy thoughts shall burden you

While you engage yourself in

Blissful slumber.

My heart will be here with you

As such tranquil dreams with serene

Passion you will encumber.

Oh, rest is so essential, just as any

Great person should know.

Without it, we shall perish, so let us

All be grateful.

Now, little girl, keep yourself asleep,

For all the rest is put behind you now.

No brutal challenges shall find you here

In such a mellow state.

9/4/00



I just need some time to be by myself,

So please leave me alone.

[You] take away my privacy and you

Take me from my friends.

I can’t take too much more if this;

Everything must come to an end.

Every once in a while, I can take your

Ludicrous rambling, but you shallow ways

And false-heartedness set off the bomb

That dwells within.


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