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Haloes & Earth

Jen Selinsky

Copyright © 2007 by Jen Selinsky

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Cover Art Copyright © 2017 by Jen Selinsky

ISBN: 9781370625116



*Not every poem included in this book is dated in chronological order.  This is not an oversight on my part. Rather, I have made changes and substitutions over the years.

-J.L.S.



Poems written after

the new millennium, 2000


In my younger days, I would

Have accomplished so much more,

For now, I am getting so old.

Time cannot help me go back

To the age of innocence, for I

Have traveled that road so many times before.

Will someone inform me of the new score?

Tripping senselessly in a place beyond

Regular time and space has enabled me

To find a new medium.

It is a day of which I shall never be lost

Because everything will go according to plan.

While the ink is still wet on my diploma,

I want to go see the world.

Never scold me for my silly aspirations,

For they can come see you any time they please.

1/25/00



I’ve accentuated your features,

Just thought you would like to know.

Thousands of followers can see it

When your face does glow.

Your wings of pure gold can carry me

Anywhere in this fine and muted world—

Even to places of which I do not

Care to see.

O’, tell me when you’re coming back

So that I’ll know just what the

Future will hold.

I can see that we’ll never part ways again,

And I close my eyes to think of the days

That have passed.

So ashamed and aghast that times have

Seen me shrink from the shadows.

I hide from anything that’s not

Easily explained.

2/13/00



I’ve dreamt about you numerous times,

And I’ve received all your congeniality.

Why do you treat me so fairly, when I’ve

Only seen you in my time and illusions?

How can that be when you beckon me every night?

I have seen your face, and I want to

Make it a part of my collection.

Against free will or not, you shall join me

In my cavern below the ground by the light of day.

If you’re good, I just may let you go free someday.

Until then, my dear, you are under my captivity.

2/13/00



Let Wagner’s music take hold of me

And float me to another land

During another time.

Such majestic and beautiful compositions,

Who would ever want to escape?

I can see the Vikings and the gods,

As they call out for me to join them

On a spectacular voyage.

Fantasy unwinds and adventure awaits,

I can’t wait to see what the golden voices

Bring next…

Large scales and a wide range

A whole new chapter adds itself onto

The magnificent composition!

2/13/00



Slow-paced but effective, this music

Brings me such glee.

I can see myself pacing the perimeter

Of the room, slowly but surely

A grand instrumental—

How sweet and depressing

All at the same time.

What can I do but sing along

With the tune?

All words memorized in my head

How beautiful!

The delightful melody brings back

Such gleeful memories.

2/13/00



The Wedding

Let the procession continue

For the jovial couple, as they

Give away their sacred vows.

Hand in hand and side by side,

They walk forth to their destiny

So naive, yet so happy.

But they know what they’re

Getting themselves into

And I’m happy that I’m only here

To observe, but I am glad,

Nonetheless.

Just save me some Champaign

And cake to keep me satisfied,

For I will not have spilt wine

On my dress!

2/13/00



The moon lulls me to sleep,

Just before I am about to wake.

What could be better than to

Have a permanent residence

Right next to Somnus?

Only to dream the undreamable

In such little time would be so splendid.

The moon can capture my mind, heart,

And spirit as long as I do not wake.

But my blood is to be left in my veins to flow

Just like Endymion, I wish to be immortal

And kept alive in my dreams.

Oh, what I can fulfill and achieve

Something so great can only

Be dreamt up by a genius.

2/13/00



I heard that you’re jumping out of cars

And pulling all kinds of crazy stunts.

You’re putting your life on the line.

There’s so much left to live for,

Who says you can’t take it slow?

If I had my time placed before me,

I’d pack up my bags and go.

There’s more to do other than

Try to ignore yourself; you can enjoy

All the simpler things.

Why would you like to be like a little

Marionette, all tied up in those strings?

I have a solution that’ll surely change your mind,

You can stop yourself in mid play.

Come up to the mountains, take it slow,

And join me for a day

What could you possibly lose?

2/13/00



Love

If love comes from only one source,

Then why are we expected to give?

In all the years we have left to live,

Why are we dragged into the sieve?

Love is one of those ideas, entailing

That we’re all to stick together.

God created us as equals so that

We could live and learn from each other.

Love is just one of those things

That we cannot live without.

There is no doubt about what we can’t deny

Don’t be shy; let me explain

The true facts.

Relax and come with me;

Let me give you the love

That you’ve been missing for years.

2/13/00



I’ll try to ease the pain and

Seal the wounds, even though

It may take a few days.

I’m by your side and here for you,

No matter how difficult the maze.

You see me through the eyes of some

Benevolent soul, and I thank the Lord above

For that because He knows my one

And only goal.

What a thrill and delight to have you here

In my arms.

The world’s on fire and off to all the alarms.

You can be indiscrete, my dear, and do anything

That you desire.

Our love will never reach any level higher

Because nothing can surpass perfection.

It is a part of my collection

That I shall keep on my shelf for many years to come.

2/20/00



You spread yourself so thin that I

Don’t know if you’ll have any room for me.

Am I to be included in your plans,

Or should I just leave while I can?

The sun doesn’t seem to shine

In my direction, if our

Faith is not a resurrection.

Whatever happened to the times

During which you had courage

To stand up to all challenges?

I’d call you a coward, except

I’d have no room to speak for myself.

Many things still plague me

In my mind, as it seems

Everything is all for yourself;

You’ve destroyed all my dreams.

I hope that you’re proud

Because you crushed my poor soul,

And any way the tide rolls, your past

Will be back to haunt you.

12/10/00



Ahh… the hour now strikes

Midnight, and it’s here I’m glad to stay.

What else did you want to say to me

Now that I am free?

We can descend the stairway together

And talk about the rain.

3/18/01



Gold, you can paint many hours.

Gold can pave the hearts of the

Greedy satyrs.

Consume the time of many who

Toil away hours of their lives

For you.

How delicious with rich flavor,

The soup’s at its thickest.

Serve it to many, who can dine

On fancy prices.

Wars were fought over you—so

Many lives lost for an unworthy cause

In heaven’s name.

No one is going to ever recover

Because nothing is going to be the same.

A game we all play continues to run

Through my head.

Calling out to the crowd instead;

But you cannot wake the dead.

8/20/01



My feet are tied to the ceiling,

And my hands are bound to the floor.

This makes for a new kind of situation,

One of which I’m not very proud.

I get myself into the most disagreeable

Of messes with no smooth way to

See myself out.

Any way that you care to discuss this matter

Is fine and well by me, just don’t let the

Worst part of the conversation reach my ears,

Until I find some kind of sanctuary.

10/6/02



You make your mystery so unbelievable

That my eyes can hardly believe the

Transformation!

Turning me upside down in a world

That is already confused, amaze me.

Some time to remember because they

Have conjured up so many ideas in my head.

I do not know where they are taking me,

Yet I don’t seem to mind the thrill.

We’ll just have to wait and see when

We get there, as the tides will be clashing

With the days.

A symphony of emotions let me overcome

My worries, and I am swept away to some

Safe newhaven, where I can live as

A Puck forever!

10/6/02



You think that we always have something

New to discuss, yet the content

Always turns out to be the same.

Oh, when will the world ever acknowledge

That there’s two possibilities, as

These things are not always going to

Have the same outcome?

I shouldn’t let myself worry or get upset

Over the smallest things because my

Little heart will not be able to take it.

I’ve got to center myself and think of

The brightest sky.

10/6/02



Why, these decisions have made me feel

As if nothing has made me change my mind,

Is all for the better.

I did not worry because I did not think I

Would never get back to this point.

Time is not on my side, because

It is always running against me.

I know the reflection in the mirror

Is going to change; I know that I have

No right to stand on this platform alone.

The protestors stand by the picket fence,

Waiting for innocent victims on which

To pounce—fresh meat to expose to the public.

I will not play that role by getting in so far

Over my head.

People have to learn to leave me alone

Once I have my mind made up on a

Certain subject.

12/17/02



What some things mean are different

Than the interpretations from the experts.

I hate the new critics that darken my doorstep,

With the thought that they are the only ones

Who are right.

People like that should cast themselves

Into oblivion for being so closed-minded.

12/30/02



Now, I am truly in the realm of angels,

Because I can hear their enchanted voices,

And flapping wings almost directly over my head.

These sweet messengers of God were sent

Down to protect my loved ones, and I, from harm.

Never before have I been this blessed—to be in

The presence of something so spectacular.

Only when I get to meet the Lord Himself

Will my opinion change, even in the slightest manner…

1/8/03



So many wonderful pages on which to write.

The newest ideas that seem to pop into my head,

Either at the spur of the moment, or the time

When things are most inappropriate.

So many precious thoughts are lost

Because of all this, and they are never

Fully recovered.

There goes another idea that may have

Gotten me somewhere—somewhere in the

Stratosphere, which very few mortals

Have dared to try and reach before.

After all these pages are full, I will finally

Find my place in the sun, where no one

Can reach me but by my own means.

1/10/03



Look into my eyes, as I find a place to

Make some kind of retreat, a modern-day

Sanctuary.

I know you want to go there with me;

I know you’ve had enough of this

Monotonous life.

What else can be said and done, I suppose

That neither one of us will know until

We get there.

1/10/03



One brave child breaking the

Sexual tension at a party.

Damn all the stereotypes that

Surround the generations today,

But I must say that things are

Getting better.

Why was I always

The one who had to

Break the ice with these men;

Were they

Truly such cowards?

I have to feel sorry for them because

Their social skills are at a loss.

Yes, I can remember being that age

And facing the

Awkward obstacles

Of gender association.

Things like that didn’t bother me

Back then, but maybe they should

Have so that I would know what

To do now.

I am too much in

The dark to be let out

Right now; maybe

This is just another

Passing phase.

(One can always hope.)

1/6/03



These strange beings called children,

Why do we invest so much of our

Concern with them, is it because they are

Our future?

What about the people who are

Already grown, and practicing?

Why can’t they, too, be treated

Just like druids?

Given the best of everything, we can be

Taught to remember things as well.

Just pay us the right kind of attention,

And we could do anything you like.

You should know this from experience

At having aged a bit yourselves.

1/6/03



Writing in the present day—

Is it really that much competition?

In these “paintings” I do not care to

Discuss much politics or things that

Are going on around the world because

I don’t pay much attention.

Maybe I am not as modern as I

Seem at such a self-assured age,

But I really don’t care at this point.

My head is in the clouds,

And my eyes are full of stars.

I’m a dreamer, and I am nothing,

But some of those who are truly famous

May not have such an easy time

Doing what the others do best.

Our society has gone to shambles,

Just as someone first turned their back!

3/14/03



Could this, indeed, be considered a

Brush with paradise?

Even though I have not left the

Trappings of mortal flesh, I feel

As if I’m not even a part of this world

At the moment.

Perhaps, I was carried off in my sleep,

Or even, perchance, that I am still in

The realm of the unconscious.

Whatever the circumstance, I am pleased

To know that I am fortunate enough

To feel that these entities really do exist!

All my life, I have been wondering and

Pondering the truths of this matter.

When, all of a sudden, the sky was illuminated

And the truth burst forth, just like the sound

Of heavenly trumpets!

Eventually, I will wake from this state

And find that my vision has been

Permanently altered, due to the

Blinding goodness of the truth!

1/8/03



If you feel my face, you could be

Touching that of the dead.

I want my body and my soul to myself!

What’s the point of being circulated—

Just like some leaders, green, wrinkled,

Dead?

In the bank of souls, we all get deposited

Into different boxes, leaving some time

When the first accounts close out.

Where the hell have I been before?

It kind of makes me wonder if I’ve had

Many hardships in past lives.

3/14/03



Most familiar, I know you to be one

Of my own, in a collection, oh house

Full of jewels.

Could it be due to the fact that you are

The most popular?

I cannot see many in my environment

Bending down on their knees in

Complete adoration, but I don’t care

What these people think because

They need room for expansion.

3/15/03



What’s this, could you be a part

Of the missing link?

Such a slower movement and most

Bitter a tune.

The violin may not be my instrument

Of choice, but I must say it adds to

My emotions a great deal.

What words would you have me

Saying now—

Now that I am under a different

Impression.

3/15/03



More lively and taken such an ideal,

Can what I be listening to now

Encapsulate the late seventeenth century?

Just now came a familiar note, I play with

The strings of my mind.

When I feel forced into a situation such as this,

I do not know the outcome.

Things may and may not come to

Their liking, or even mine, but I must

Use every precious moment of my life breath

To climb the mountain that is known as humanity.

3/15/03



Leaning in and out.

I can feel myself going, shoulders

Swaying to and fro to the rhythm

Of the music.

I feel as if I’m in such a mellow mood,

First feeling the cool of the evening.

Stars are pasted high in the sky,

But the natural scheme is much

More important than the things

We are trying to say.

Dazed in a dimly lit room, it seems

That no one really cares about the

Meaning, except for me.

3/16/03



We learn by our eyes, all except for me,

Who learns by my ears.

Give me my music and my spoken word

So that my mind can consume all

The knowledge that it can.

I want to have things, which volumes

Of encyclopedias yearn to know.

I shall no longer be in competition

With such great sources and learning.

Materials of the masses, and I shall be revered

As some kind of entity spectacular.

After death, my mind will be

Preserved!

3/16/03



Give me something new,

I don’t not know what I am

Dealing with, could you really

Be what I’m thinking, no, the

Hills are not yet alive.

But all of a sudden, fast and furious,

Something has come to me

With full intensity.

I must grab all my things and

Cherish this season, before everything

And its splendor is taken away,

Right before my eyes.

This has meant so much to me

Over the years that it has something

To bring to mind.

Rich in splendor, I tend to shy away

From things that are less familiar

You bring something warm to mind.

3/15/03



Wait for me, wait for me beyond

The hills, where we are meant to play.

And, given a particular time

It takes something away, and I know

That you are here by the presence

In the air.

Tingling air, wafting in and out of

The room, the chill run up my spine

Wet, and like a cold tongue.

I would catch up with you, but you

Already caught up with me.

3/15/03



Bring back that theme, that song

We used to sing.

Oh, at first I was afraid, but now

I have grown accustomed—love with

A thing that feels so comfortable.

What notes, friend, have you to match these?

I see nothing in comparison, but it’s always

So hard when you’re in completion with yourself.

3/15/03



How odd this feeling is.

I have the same frame of mind

When I think of such extreme

Opposites.

But without these opposites,

What can we actually define?

I am a bit of myself in both parts,

Yet I do not know how the good things

In the world can be defined with the bad

Everything would be in the norm,

And it has given back to the one person

Who can understand.

3/15/03



Your lugubrious sound sets itself

In my ears; on with the harpsichord

Of the dying.

I need something that challenges the others

And makes them aware of their mortality.

You fascinate and scare me at the

Same time.

3/15/03



How uplifting, could this really be the

Preparation for a seasonal death?

I cannot say that I understand your

Unorthodox ways—

Such a ruse, such a common effect

On the human psyche.

Are our minds just trifles to those

Who are so power hungry?

Here we are, dying, then dying again

In the hands of the megalomaniacs.

3/15/03



Jack Frost has begun at my ears

But, now, I start to see him

Disappear outside.

Rain drops, icy precipitation,

Come down to earth and

Give so many a reason to

Curse at the sky and hibernate

Inside our homes.

This is too delicious for me,

But I’ll make again your presence

In misery someday.

3/15/03



Giving and taking all the same,

No one knows that I’m here, living

In a populated area and cultural center.

I do not stand out on my own;

The fates have all switched in and

Out of themselves—

Intertwining and mingling to the

Point of this wretched no return.

3/15/03



Such a short, yet long time we have

Spent in Common Decency.

You cannot do such things to a

Human being; it’s like telling a child

That he or she has to walk the streets

Alone.

Yesterday, I laughed at a tear falling

From someone’s eye, but I should have

Identified with her pain.

Neither one of us had to gain in this

Rotten situation.

The place of which I speak may have

No bearing on your soul, and now is

The time to change your mind once

And for all.

We have to help these poor individuals—

The ones most in distress.

3/15/03



I had to finally get rough with you

Once and for all; it’s time that I gave you

The hint in no way, which it could be denied.

Others may admire your persistence,

And I may be one of them myself if

You had chosen another target.

Indeed! What kinds of things had you

In that mind of yours; I must have

Stirred up some trouble myself,

Yet I want you to know that I hold

No hatred or hostility, and my simple

Wishes include you finding another.

I have been through the same thing

So many times before, so many other men

Have thought that I was the one.

(No one has ever treated them

So kindly before.)

Blessing or curse, take me as I am!

My exterior may change, but my motives

Shall remain the same for a long time to be.

I would be too quick to call you foolish,

As I think that part of me is to take

Some of the blame as well.

Generosity to a fault, you couldn’t

Accuse me of a worthier crime!

People who know me can thus back this

Statement up.

I have to learn more how to control

My congeniality.

4/2/03



Face forward and hear the angel’s

Warning; the Savior is due to

Come back to us soon.

God’s Son has not forgotten

His children on this earth.

Fear not, ye sons and daughters,

We are all seen as equal in the

Eyes of our supreme Creator,

For He has the names of each

And every one of us written on His hand.

No matter where we are or what we do,

We all have a common thread in that we

Belong to the same colossal being,

Who has given us all breath in our lungs

And blood in our veins.

I hear the angels singing again, and,

This time, they reemphasize the message;

The shepherd shall return lovingly

To His flock…

1/8/03



I hold my hands up to my face

And hide the shame from within.

I feel that some of this is my fault,

Yes, all this may very well be my fault

Because of my naiveté.

Why can’t you get the message;

Did you not understand the subtle clue?

I do not know what it takes to get

Through to you!

Friends? Yes, I suppose.

I want you to have a good life

But not through my sympathy and love

In the way you want to take it.

We’re both grown individuals, and

I admit that I may not have been acting the part,

But can you not see things my way?

I’m through with all this pretending

And self-manipulation; I’m through

With people like yourself.

So sorry to have lead you on, turned you on,

But you knew you were playing in

Hostile water.

Thus, I need not cut myself short

Or waste any breath on figuring out

What I am going to say next (to you

Or even my dearest friends).

Let human nature take its course in

Mapping out other plans and giving

Us different lives to lead.

Oh, you must think that I hate you.

No, but I would prefer you just let me live

My life, alone, the way that I want to

Go on as you please, and I shall do the same!

4/3/03



Could this be true, finally a world’s

Nation at peace?

Dancing in the streets, celebrating

The former dictator’s political demise?

I hope that this is true and that

There’s nothing else behind it.

And I was so glad to finally receive

The news—that all the world’s prayers

Were finally answered.

Now may the constituents of Iraq

Finally receive humane treatment

And a stable government,

And let our troops be sent home

So that we all have a chance to rejoice.

I hope this foolishness has really

Come to an end!

4/10/03



People like you just fuel my fire!

I will take no more of your comments

And your obnoxious behavior!

Who are you to say what’s right

And what’s wrong, Mr. fuckin’ know-it all?!

Sometimes I would like to react in fury

Against your ludicrous claims;

Sometimes I would like to put a final end

To all your anger.

Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde, what is the POTION

That feeds your alter ego—demeaning

And condescending remarks to others?

I’m almost to the point at which I no longer

Want to be in your company because you

Are aggravating me more and more each day!


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