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Excerpt for Late Night Thoughts by , available in its entirety at Smashwords



Late Night Thoughts

the lost texts I almost sent you

never






shadress denise



©2016 Shadress Denise

©2016 Blue Indigo Publishing


Publisher | Blue Indigo Publishing

Book Cover Designer | ColorMeBlu Designs www.colormebludesigns.com

Interior Design | LaQueisha Malone www.LaQueishaMalone.com


All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without express writer permission from the author/publisher.


This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to the real locals are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents are entirely coincidental.



Also written by Shadress Denise www.iamshadressdenise.com


Disturbia (2014)

Who Do You Love? (2014)

Who Do You Love Too? (2015)

hello. goodbye. never again (2016)

LIBERATED (2016)


broken promises are only the beginning…

a heart like flypaper / kindness never knew us / i won’t keep you / shattered glass and bruised

egos / hardwood oceans between lovers / parted lips and your pardon / the waltz at midnight /

vacation from drowning / pause and repent / parachute promises / paper thin skin / morning

mourning / the lies i tell you / motel pools after two / doorstep / dirty heart martinis / her god /

rapunzel draws the line / the traveling salesman / instincts are basic / a house is not a home /

buried within his lips / nothing last forever / heart virus / rolling stones & spinning wheels / after

party, after heartache / ancient memories / checkmate / scared of lonely / peter pan / love

letter / something like marilyn monroe / immortal ink / cannabis / under the influence /

catastrophes / purgatory / mixed messages / shallow graves / baptismal purges / side effects

from a radioactive love / false promises and unwarranted aches / puzzle pieces / fabric imprints/ all i want is you / new adventures / goodbyes last longer / fantasies die slow / do you know

gepetto / hidden adversaries / half of me / regulars at the racetrack / codependency is a drug /

cold case love / dreamin’ eyes of mine / inside my skin / membranes / poseidon / cabin fever /

islands & peninsulas

…..heartbreak comes next

wild, wild, west / midnight solicitation / delirious / the devil in my coffee cup / old wounds never

really heal / he was a category 5 / shelf life / desolate hearts aren’t meant to be tamed /

chernobyl / hansel & gretel / fatalities of reality / espionage / force feed / the sheets remember

you / temptation between my teeth / i hear you ticking / shackled to a lie / trade secrets of

embargoed love / truth hurts / harley quinn / robbery in the first / firefly / crazy thing call love /

pusher / morning cocktails / déjà vu built a fortress / post survivor / uninhibited / mississippi

moonshine / pyromanic / devout / classified bipolar / dream lover / camouflage / hide go seek

/ buried alive / beggars can’t be choosy / shrapnel / ventriloquist / provocateur / frankenstein’s

lover / halos and devils horns / close to you / la tragedie belle / pirates running amuck / if i

could un-part my thighs / a night of no new things / confessions & apologies / interludes of drunk

texting / urgency / back of a milk carton / prophets / silent protests at picket lines


and then late night thoughts that drive you mad…

porcelain doll / codeine please / pull the life support already / fresh dirt on an old grave /

legacies of ruin / because every summer is still winter / lying goes a long way / misery riot / we

gave something up / my feelings need a sponsor / fool’s gold / cupid got lost somewhere /

imperfections of a perfect love / 6:30am calls / vintage hearts break the hardest / highest

bidder at the empty auction / imposters / that which binds us / fuck

your black market feelings / again on repeat / the things we carry / self-inflicted wounds hold no

blame / why does she stay / suicidal notes / be your version of love / cloud 9 / perfect love

affair / warning labels / it’s just different / grey / an echo and a reminder / ghost stories at

breakfast / jonesing for september / outlaws


About the Author

More Titles From Shadress Denise


Acknowledgements


It’s funny how this book came about. I had just finished another poetry book when these poems just started coming. The late-night thoughts intertwined between the poems started nothing more than text messages I either sent (some I didn’t) to someone who was once dear to me. Before I knew it, I began posting them on Instagram and then they manifested into being the perfect glue binding the poems together. Who would’ve ever thought simple text messages to someone you used to love could be poetry…not me! Though here we are; another book, another set of feelings in black and white. My personal therapy that doesn’t ever really cost me anything so I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them.


So now of course, with the completion of every new book, there are more people to thank. More people who have been a part of my journey. More people who have contributed their sprinkles of love, lessons, and support into my life. There would never be enough room in my books to thank each of them without writing another one (laughs)! I think about each letter & each word that makes up my poems and I smile at how in some way whether good or bad, so many of you have inspired me. I will never be grateful enough for my family, friends, frenemies and reader fans who give me a reason to write. I have always found comfort in writing and it’s the one place I can be authentically me without the worry of what people will say (not that I care anyway…shrugs).


So, to you those who have played an intricate part in my life…. thank you!


shadress denise



Nothing good ever came from it beating,

therefore, I carved it out and stuck it to the wall.

It always had a knack

for attracting the wrong things,

falling prey to the wrong kind of love,

catching dangerous feelings.


It never served me any purpose

other than keeping me alive

and the moment you walked out,

I came to see it was nothing but a trap.


Nothing but a poisonous illusion

that unwillingly drew you in and

somehow let you escape with everything,

including the inner workings of my heart.

-a heart like flypaper



I stitch up my soul

after taping my heart

back together again.

Glue never did anything

other than remind me

of how nothing

you ever said would stick;

though my broken heart

and ravished soul

would prove me wrong.


I long for the days,

you would whisper

sweet words in my ears

as you caressed the gentle monster

that dwelled within my frame.

I longed for the days,

our words no longer

hurt each other

and it would no longer feel

like kindness never knew me,

you, and this lie we called love.


-kindness never knew us



There will always be a place

in your heart,

hidden away where no one can see

that she will always reside.

In a secluded place,

buried deep is your love for her.

A flicker of a flame burning bright for only her.

I have tried to find it,

but no matter how hard I’ve tried,

I can never find its true spot.

So, I won’t keep you.

I won’t hold the love

you have stored away for only her

hostage any longer.


-i won’t keep you





I wanted to say I’m sorry.

I wanted to beg for your forgiveness,

but the ceiling

we knew had been cracking over the years,

now lay at our feet.

The reflections of who we used to be

were thrown across the room.

Wounds that once healed,

opened as the new bruises

we inflicted on each other

were now exposed.

There was no turning back.

No picking up the pieces.

Everything we had fought to be

was now shattered, broken and permanently

bruised because we

wanted to be free.

-shattered glass and bruised egos



Always flowing

and surrounding me,

your love reminded me of water.

Like the ocean,

you were everywhere I turned.

Like rivers,

our love once flowed from head to toe.


Many times, I found myself

lost within the depths of your soul.

Now I stand here,

abandoned and searching


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