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Red, Black, and Blue

Jen Selinsky

Lunch with a Colleague,” “Touché,” “The Wedding Ring,” and “Sym-Pathetic” are works of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2016 by Jen Selinsky

All rights reserved by the author. No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior permission of the publisher and/or author.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover Art Copyright © 2016 by Jen Selinsky

ISBN: 9781370408665

*Not every work included in this book is dated in chronological order. This is not an oversight on my part. Rather, I have made changes and substitutions.


“ ‘Thank God’ should not be just some general expression. It should literally be all of us expressing our gratitude to our loving Lord!”


I must keep in mind that the only way to properly move is to move forward. There are so many things which can get in one’s way of happiness, trivializing its great importance in someone’s life. Too much of that seems to be happening today. There are many examples I could illustrate, but the one which comes to mind most often makes my spine want to crawl out of my mouth in a large stream of vomit. This gross metaphor may make it seem like I am exaggerating, but I am not. Sadly, it is a situation where happiness does not reign. I feel that I am not moving forward, but it sucks me back into its deadly pool. That’s how exasperated it can make me feel, but the only way which I could ever excel is by moving forward. The same is true for anyone who wishes to advance further and make something of his or her life. Backpedaling is not the best option unless it’s absolutely necessary. I would not make a habit of it unless there is something which has to be taken care of most immediately. Any progress to be made is much more important as a means of feeling accomplished. Happiness also has to be unearthed sometimes, but one needs to bury the bones of the past before making the all-important step to reach higher ground. Words such as these can come from most anyone who is willing to give advice, even those who do not even feel that they are qualified. It’s most important to listen to a trusted person in this manner because of the importance of the issue at hand. We must remind ourselves of the good things which can come when we make that first, starting movement to the place which calls our names all because we refused to give up on ourselves in the midst of confusion and contemplation. It is a great moment of victory, but we must not allow a stalemate, for obvious reasons. The clearing of one’s mind of toxic and negative thoughts is completely essential and should be completed before embarking upon such a great and important journey. One’s mind needs to be cleared in order to effectively take the ever-so-important first step to moving forward with happiness rich and abundant.


Inconveniences start as soon as the

Body doesn’t want to be awakened,

Especially after the sleep it

So desperately craves. What are

These slaves to the big and little

Heads which like to carry us away

From our happy homes and out

Into the smog and soot! I’d like

To give it all the boot, if only

I had effective means.

Inconveniences like to make their

Mark on another day.


Oh, if only I could easily

Record all the thoughts

As they exit my brain.

How could I find a way?

Someone in the likeness of

My being may have had the

Same urges—I shouldn’t say

“May have” because that’s

An absolute given!

No one knows it better than

The first one who gave it

A try, and it seems that the

Same frustration has

Been implanted more

Generation by generation.

Technology smaller than the

Palms of our hands, and the

Appendages move to keep

The mind lubricated so that

It may continue to think

The thoughts which both

Astound and confound us.

[There’s] nothing to do but

Smile and shrug while

Moving the other way.

Things have certainly

Not changed as I sit here,

Pedaling pen in hand.


I feel foolish having forgotten to call in our order at Cheddar’s. I forgot to ask to see a phone book at the library, and the bookstore did not have one. So I walked into Cheddar’s and headed to the bar to place my takeout order, since my TracFone cannot look things up online.

The bar area is nice and air-conditioned. One of the servers offered me a glass of water while I waited. I am glad I decided to leave a tip this time!

I also brought in my newly purchased copy of Passionate Nomads by María Rosa Lojo—translated by Brett Alan Sanders—one of the authors I met at the book signing. I might decide to start reading it after I finish writing the following piece.

There are many conversations taking place in the surrounding areas, but I’ve tuned them out in hopes of blending into the atmosphere. I prefer that people ignore me until the food is ready.

Brett Sanders’ business card is in my left hand I noticed that he is located in Tell City, which is where Travis’s Aunt June and Uncle Doc once lived. The rest of the information on the card fails to make a great impression on me.

Now, I am growing tired and bored as the air is starting to chill my skin in contrast to the warmth outside. It’s surprising that my eyes want to close. Perhaps, now, I shall start to read my book because I feel there is nothing else about which I wish to write at the moment.

I need food in my stomach and Married with Children on the tube. I could take some extra time to write about the immense fan blades—the wood and brick on the ceiling, and the walls. Even the beautiful, mixed marble of the countertop really intrigues me. The whole building, from this perspective, reminds me of something one sees out west.

Now, our food is here, and they are bagging it up. The book will have to wait, as I am ready to go back home.


I have been walking and enjoying

All the beauty outside.

These slow days when I have

Nothing to do are the best of all.

The scenery is beautiful, as

Everything is turning green again.

Spring awakens me as I partake in

The vibrant and beautiful colors.

The sun and the sky—nothing could

Ever take place or surpass God’s


It’s the world’s greatest Source!

To bask in it is such a gift a

Person could have as one feels the

Heat on their skin as a result of

The warming sun—

Cooled and kissed

By the breeze.

I am surrounded by beauty which no

Man could ever take away, dare say

It is most soothing when I want to

Escape the confines of man-made

Devices, designed to emulate

Something that they cannot.

Real is the beauty which

Everyone should heartily



One thing I should definitely shrink is my fear. Nothing productive can come from it, and there are far better things I can do with my time. God gave us our babies so that we we be happy and rejoice in Him! Fear is a result of our sinful nature; it is something that the Lord does not like for us to have. It even takes away from my creative process. Shrinking something so counter-productive and useless could only benefit me in a good way. I need to do that.


Gardens of pleasure sometimes eliminate the guesswork. It seems that too much of it would only eliminate any kind of fun I could have creating something new. It seems that millions of ideas are in my head, and they germinate like seeds! Of course, I do not have the time to fully express them all, nor do I want to put everything I think to paper. Some things are best kept to myself. Still, I cannot help but think of new things all the time. How delighted that I still want to try when I’d landed myself in defeatist attitudes more than I care to mention But if I let that get to me every time, then I would never have kept going the first time that someone said that they didn’t like my work. I suppose that quitting’s not an option when I know that I want something so much.


Maybe little distractions are a lot better than what I give them credit for. For one thing, they sometimes get me motivated to keep moving and give birth do all the thoughts swimming around in my head. Even something as simple as writing in different colored pens makes sure that my mind does not stop putting forth the creative juices so that I may keep on producing.


Many things annoy me, but I think that it’s best to walk over them sometimes. That is, when I can. It’s a good thing that I realize that nothing should get to me as much as it or they can sometimes. Even those circumstances which do no always go in my favor cannot be helped some of the time. It’s best to simply look forward to all the good things that lie ahead.


I need to carry things with me wherever I go. Even though physical pages are not always available, I have many things which can be stored in my mind and written down of something that can stay later. That’s the beauty with us so not only that we may produce written works, but so we can also function as human beings. Without such a wonderful piece of equipment, our active lives would ne non-existent. We would have to be kept alive by machines. Though, a little part of us would still be alive as long as our hearts are still beating. But we would be aware of nothing, and that’s why brains should not be undermined—second only to the heart which was given to us so that awe could love.


Nothing is too

Small when I

Want to grab a

Hold of something

And make it

My own; I’m

Glad that I


Not to let go!


I could go on listing songs that

Would play in different parts

Of the chapters which I have

Envisioned and written down

For posterity.

What would make me want

To do anything differently,

Especially when I like to

Incorporate what makes me

Feel like I could go on creating

For all these days.


I suppose that I feel glad for

These things which allow me

Rest every once in a while.

Every piece cannot be taken

All up the places where other

Words by such talented people

Have a place to reside and thrive!


I reserve the right not

To stand corrected.

You’ve been in my life

For far too long. Whatever

Increments may follow,

I’ll be sure not to come because

My feet have already started

Moving in another direction.

How you have tried to change

Me and undermine my worth; is

This all that shall be offered

To the nation’s youth?

What will their poor little minds

Have to extrapolate so that they

Will not have to stay in the

Residence of their parents

Almost indefinitely?

I could not have us bring forth

A child only to have its dreams

Dashed shortly after I tried to

Climb the same ladder, whose top

Was so easy to reach only

Thirty-forty years to go.

So I have taken my walking

Papers and decided to move in

The direction of my

Beloved “ancestors.”


An artist was given one

Year, but he finished in

A day.

What talent that must

Take, such perseverance.

Though my fingers cannot

Draw such images,

I make scribbles which

I hope to amount to

Something one day,

Even if I am old and

Gray and least expecting,

What a gift it would be

To honor all the work

I’d done!


Here by my own means and

Accord, there will be many

More like this which I can

Afford as soon as the time


I will experience again what

It’s like to be young!

Crowds may not understand

What I am trying to do, but

They may have their own

Thing; just keep them away

From interfering in what is

Soon to be known as my plans

For true happiness.


Pictures of a certain place

Sometimes disappear

Without a trace, but we

Need to know that it’s all

Right for them to have

Something else take their

Place, at least until they

Are found.

Nothing taken from our

Memories; it’s good that

We can still walk down the

Same path, knowing that our

Treasures shall safely

Be retrieved before we

Have much of a chance to

Miss them.

In the meantime, there is

Plenty which we could occupy

Our minds, don’t just sit

There; we all need to come

Back to life!

Once we find ourselves not

Thinking of a certain thing,

Then our patience shall

Be rewarded.

If only some of us had

Half a brain to realize all

That before, but mourned,

Lost time does not come back,

Just like the pictures.


Men such as you have lived

Through innocent times,

Though names on a list

Still forced your faces in

The mud.


You found a way to escape the

Jungles when they offered

To put an instrument back

In your hands.

Played that thing in order

To get your ticket back home,

Where you slowly, but surely,

Waded through all the aftermath.


You thought you’d win me over

Too soon.

That much I dare say I can see

Coming because all I need is

To have further proof on indication.

Oh, wait, I have.

And you know that my feet will

Have to be kissed much more

In order for me to accept your

Hidden plea.

At least you’ve found a way

Of masking your desperation,

Which is more than I can

Say for myself!


What would you do if you

Found my body out at sea?

Still alive, but I need someone

To throw me a line.

Else, I might perish before

Another innocent being has

A chance to take a breath.

At rest when I need your

Attention, did Icarus just

Fall freshly from the sky?

Mad waves forced water into

My brain, and I have taken

Too much salt into my lings.

No chance that I might grow

Gills, so rescue me now

From these ghastly depths!


Voyage to wish the

Others well.

I am not going;

I’m soured on the

Whole idea, as

Many people could

Already tell.

Contributions were made,

And it appears that they

Didn’t like what I

Had to day.

Just as well because

I do not like anything

Which they had to say,

So I suppose that it

All worked out.


When I knew all the different

Things I could sing, my voice

Did not ever want to stop.

What went on once they

Put down the placements of

The clock?

Things tried to be changed,

And I did what I could not

To get confused because the

Passion really consumes my

Head; I’ve wanted it all along.


Give me a portion of an appendage,

And I’ll do what I can.

It all has little time to listen,

But there is something still

Prominent in the sound.

The part of me which can pick

Up on things has now a keen sense,

Peppered with interest and new


I can find a subject and make it

Have controlled by part of my mind.

What limitless choices I can make.


No more until I promise

To move to new places—

No more feeding my hollow

Gut until a new page is turned.

Confirmed, I have stretched

Out to expand another part

Of my being.

No stagnant pieces which

Threaten to remain the

Same on this day (and every

Day) when my body changed.

Rearrangements made for

Something as it increases

Into another small part of

The universe.


I need time to place

All these little objects

Into my bag.

What is not collected

Today may not have

Time to wait.

I do not want to subject

These objects to the

Same kind of fate as

My tiny brain, not having

A moment to be contained

In their proper vessel.

It has so many good things

For them to collectively

Benefit from their living.


I’ll skip nothing, and I’ll

Like it.

Those are the words which

I must tell myself every day.

Self-pushing can turn me

Into a villain of sorts—

When one part of my mind

Goes against another.

Does that merely make

Me a confused symbol, when

All I’ve wanted was to have

A separate status?

Hidden from the fact that

I’ve had to push myself for

Many knights and daze

To run through my mental



I thought that I could find

A way to exhaust all my

Resources and find

Something new to play

With once I’ve found a

Part of something to

Capture my attention span.

Difficult, even though I am

Older and want to take

Things not slow.

You had to know; I have to

Know what things are

Present in the world—the

Portion which had never

Presented itself to me



What will keep me going are the

Words which I have in mind to


Sometimes, it might even take

All way and night to complete

What I have started.

Nevertheless, my calling should

Not be truncated by insecurity

And/or unreasonable demands.

There is still too much left to go


But it is an abundance about which

I will not complain because God

Has given it to me!


I write you in regards to the

Future letter you will send

Yourself; make sure the

Date is correct.


It hides in my mind,

Coming out when I least

Expect it to—music which

Could have come from the

Other side of my mind.

I know I’ve thought only

Of you recently, but I am

Fascinated nonetheless.

All comes down to the point

Of your having opened up

To me to reach another

Layer of my being.



Don’t want to forget to

Pray today.

‘Tis time to lift up the

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