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Shattered

by A.T. Mulvihill


Copyright © 2018 A.T. Mulvihill

eBook Edition

License Notes

Thank you for downloading this eBook. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and remains the copyrighted property of the author. This eBook may not be redistributed, nor any part of this book reprinted for any purpose. This eBook may not be resold or given away to any person. If you enjoyed this eBook and wish to share this eBook, please download an additional copy or encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support and respecting the hard work of this author.


First Printing, 2017

ISBN: 9781977088512

eBook ISBN: B079KLM11X

Published by A. T. Mulvihill

www.ATMulvihill.com

for family

for friends

for healing

Divorce brings pain and heartache

Don’t stay focused on the past

Move forward...as I have.


A.T. Mulvihill

Contents

Abandoned

Battle

Bound

Bridge

Cancer

Cheers

Cliff

Crazy

Denial

Destruction

Disappear

Fight

Fool

Forgive

Friendship

Given In

Grief

Hatred

Let Go

Lost

Misery

Pain

Pill

Real

Scream

Secret

Selfish

Shattered

Silence

Teardrop

Tears

The Star

Time

Turmoil

Vision

Walk of Truth

Water

Where Are You

Words


About author

More books by A.T. Mulvihill

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Abandoned

Left out, alone

A symbol of truth

Abandoned, as it

Happened in my youth


Lost, a feeling

In which I hold

Searching, seeking

A place of my own


Lips, which speak

The lies I’ve heard

Of hope and giving

Is all absurd


Longing, laughing

A life I want

Feelings sacrificed

And only haunt


Life, my own

Trying to keep moving

Building, trusting

Relationships unknowing


Lying, in solitude

Upon my bed

Dreaming, hoping

The life I’ve led


Labored, straining

To be alive

Hoping and praying

That I would die

Battle

Come all my friends to my battle

Bring your weapons and your gear

I want you to stand beside me

As I battle all my fears


I’m having a hard time coping

With the chains around my heart

The pain is all consuming

Too heavy, tearing me apart


Sometimes I even wonder

If this battle will cease to exist

The metal which surrounds me

Showing bruises on my wrist


I’ve thought of many times

Of lying down in surrender

Giving the enemy his joy

As I’m buried ten feet under


My battle scars are plenty

Too deep sometimes it hurts

To see the mars upon my flesh

The marks that still exist


I hide many beneath the surface

An abundance of pain and aches

Tearing my soul beneath my bones

My single battle I must take


At times I wish to surrender

To the pain inside my soul

The white flag in my hand

Wanting to take control


To the battlefields I race

Up the hill of my demise

Turning back is not an option

A truth I have surmised


But as I stand in front of you

I’m asking for your help

Grab up your arms and stand your ground

And feel what I have felt


One piercing bullet to my heart

A bayonet blade to the skin

The death I am seeking

Is quickly crashing in


So will you all stand beside me

With your uniform and spears

Draw up your weapons and surround me

To extinguish all my fears

Bound

Binding relentlessly

Finding no release

The pain consumes me

Creating havoc

Upon my soul


Tearing haphazardly

Throughout my body

Destroying my human form

Leaving a shell

Hollowness within


Heartache continues

As I struggle to unfold

A future of unknowns

Sickness, headaches and more

Unfolding at my door


Stress you say

Could be the cause

A menacing victim

I shall be

Allowing it to weaken me


Cheer up, move on

Don’t get down

But who are they

To breathe those words

Who don’t stand in my shoes?


Unfit to follow, as it seems

The body which envelops me

Is but a shell and no more

Carrying the weight

Of my empty self


Binding relentlessly

Finding no release

The pain consumes me

Creating havoc

Upon my soul

Bridge

To bridge the gap between us

Will take a lot of time

We built the bridge and anchored

The ties which bind us now


Too strong the wall we built

Which were bolted into place

Stone, and mortar securing the gap

To bind the bridge between


Intertwined the bridge it seems

With heavy columns and steel

The arches, rails and asphalt

Hold strongly to the bridge


Too strong to tear the walls

We fastened into place

A fierce and heavy stone

The bridge stands undefeated


The only intervention

To breakdown and dispose

The bridge standing between us

Is to let it all explode

Is your life a battle?

Are you struggling to cope

with your divorce?


You are strong

You are amazing

There’s a world waiting for you

YOU desire a fresh start!

Reach out and grasp your NEW life

AND LIVE…as I have.


A.T. Mulvihill

Cancer

Cancer, an illness known to man

Terminal, eating away from within

Not from the disease

But from the festering pain

Consuming my soul


Blackness, thick as sludge

Seeping through my body

Like coal, burning

Coursing through my skin

Killing every cell


Pain, the illness I face

Of death, of love depleted

Gone, disappearing in time

An endless reminder

Burning from within


Helplessness, a feeling of defeat

The unknown has arrived

Menacing at best

A trip which I must take

Seeking answers ahead


Empty, my thoughts begin

Questioning and seeking

Answers, all unknown

Fearful of where it leads

Wondering how it ends


A bottle, a pill

A knife or gun

Therapy, a word

Spoken in jest

Healing my illness


What happens, what’s next?

To end the suffering

Give in, get lost

To ease the pain

Only God knows


A journey, I must take

Learning from past mistakes

Seeking solitude, love or not

Burning embers extinguished

Leaving ash and heartache


Blame, a finger pointed at me

Admitting to its defeat

I’m wrong, you’re right

Is what you need

Catering to your every whim


Begging, which I have done

Comes too easily in love

But it is wrong, I must agree

To beg someone

Asking to repeat


Forging, forward I can’t

Pain too deep it hurts

Cascading, drowning

Unable to breathe

The pressure inside of me


Cancer, an illness known to man

Terminal, eating away from within

Not from the disease

But from the festering pain

Consuming my soul

Cheers

I must forgive you

I must forget

It’s time to heal

With no regret


I still hold anger

Within my soul

For you are there

Creating a hole


Inside my heart

For all to see

The girl in front

Of you is not me


But time will heal

Time will mend

My broken soul

As I pretend


To be free of you from me

This vast expanse

Of space, of time

Love lost, of chance


So here we are

Alone as you seek

A life of freedom

For all to speak


Words of yes

Way to go, look at you

Hip hip hooray

A cheer, a brew


Showcased online, of all the fun

You have had, living free

From family, from life

Forgoing responsibility


So here’s to you

A cheer, a toast

You did it, you conquered

You succeeded – time to boast!

Cliff

There’s a cliff, a large outcrop

Not too far from my home

A path which leads me to

This peaceful precipice


This path I’ve climbed before

When you and I did roam

A trip into the woods

This peaceful precipice


I’m climbing up to face

A place we called our own

Another step I’ll reach

This peaceful precipice


The beauty which surrounds

The valley I call home

A trail which leads me to

This peaceful precipice


One day I will trudge

Up to the large stone

To face my own fate

This peaceful precipice


One step or maybe two

To the place I’ll call home

My final resting place

This peaceful precipice

Crazy

Create, keep writing

I am told

On paper, with pen

For all to hold


Read more, have faith

This I know

Brings goodness, peace

Something I’ve shown


A book, a verse, a memory

A place

A trip, of anything

A gift of substance to see


Zip up, stay warm

Its cold outside

Keep dry

Be safe, upon your ride


Yes, those words came out of me

Some sane, some not

Who’s crazy?

Not I you see, for I am me

Denial

It’s him, not me

Of course you see

Blinded by anger

Half-truths, is easy


An embodiment of hate

Boiling and consuming

A soul lost

A wall building


Lost love once new

Is an opened wound

An infection festering

Threatening to consume


Point blame, it works

As I have done

Deny, tell lies

Have sex, have fun


But when does it cease

This denial, this hate

Are we to continue?

And test our fate


It’s him, not me

Of course you see

Blinded by anger

Half-truths, is easy

Do your friends ignore you like the plague,

now you are divorced?


SO WHAT -- They are not true friends


Don’t lose sight of who you are

AND especially, don’t lose your

sense of humor…as I haven’t.


A.T. Mulvihill

Destruction

A path of destruction

Is what I seek

Relieving me of this world

Disappearing, hiding

From humankind


By self or others

Which will I chose?

Extinguishing the pain I feel

Of heartache, of anger

Time which standstills


It’s easy to forget

I’ve been told, but yet

Forgetting is not part of me

Love and laughter, memories

Remembering is all I see


Push on, stay strong

What do they know?

One’s who have a home

No place, no refuge

It’s what I’ve known


Friends, family and foe

Will be there for you

A grand idea, is what I say

I’ve felt more lost

Each and every day


A new friend, lover

Companion, maybe more

To ease the pain, in which I feel

The loss of love

Is all too real


Have fun, get out

Heard many times

Echoing in my head

Of days, of nights

Are gone and dead


Create a future

A path in which I seek

Holds me hostage

Bound by my own pain

Mute, unable to speak


Relieve me of my self

My mind, my body

My soul

Destroy the pain


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