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Excerpt for Songs of a Nomadic Heart : A Collection of Poetry by , available in its entirety at Smashwords






SONGS OF A NOMADIC HEART





: A COLLECTION OF POETRY

-----AARUSHI VIJAY


In her own words


I am an optimistic 18 year old believing that words hold the power to change the world and this is my first collection of poetry to be published.

I want to thank every single person who helped me in this process and has helped me shape what I am today.









This book is for anyone who finds solace in poetry, in words and in emotions.

For them, this book is a warm hug.







Thank you,

Aarushi Vijay.


****



























Table of contents

1) How I love

2) Home

3) Guards

4) Appearances

5) Feelings for your crush

6) Love’s taste

7) Lighthouse

8) You and me

9) What colour are you

10) Lullabies







11) Humans as Poems

12) Body and words

13) Won’t fall in love again

14) The Ocean

15) A Jar of pickles























*****















how I love

To talk about how i love,


let’s go to that fancy restaurant,


where we talk about each other,


i tell you how much this place means to me,


and you tell me about your new car,

i keep listening to all you have to say,

and when it’s my turn to speak,

the waiter brings the bill,

leaving leftovers within me.

Or take me out for a walk,

where we walk hands in hands

as i keep stepping on the rocks,

yet holding your hand,

Trying to move at your speed,

Matching footsteps, burning feet,

And that is how i love : fiercely.


home

there are few people who

carry cities within them.

who believe that home is a feeling,

found in

unloading their baggage,

unpacking their boxes,

people smiling on the subway,

new roads and new days,

keys to their apartment,

lyrics of the song ardent,

food that they eat,

and their heart that beats.








guards

My eyes are welled up with tears as I weep at what I just heard them say about me.

I see you sitting beside me. You stand up and pull me towards you. As your hands pull me towards you, I feel like the earth is spinning just at the speed of my heart-beats-turned-into-heart-beasts telling me that this is just not a normal pull, it is the pull of your belief in me that I am not what they say.

As you come to taste me, my guards hold me back a little bit, but your single and soft touch makes them vanish into the thin air of comfort where I realize you are not what they say.

As your lips touch mine, my body trembles at every other person's voice that said I am not good enough - for them or for anyone. But they were only partially correct because it's you who made me realize that I am good and more than enough for them.

As your hands touch my body, my stretched, expanded body that they say is not worth it. But it's your caressing telling me that my body is stretched just enough for you to pour in all your love and as expanded as the universe is because it's so beautiful and so worth it, quite unlike what they say.

As I feel you behind me, your hands brushing against my skin, I ask you, "What makes you most comfortable with me?". I hear you speak, "Because you don't believe in them, do you?"






appearances

wear one of your masks tonight,

make me fall in love with it,

the glittery side full of light.

deceive me into your stories,

the experiences that you never had,

tell me about love and life,

all the little details that add.

make me feel like I know you,

and then take out the mask,

laugh at me while i comprehend

which one was you.









feelings for your crush

You know that feeling?

When your breathing stops for just a


second, yet your heart still races,


When your eyes are closed,

yet you can see everything around you,


When you have goosebumps,


yet your skin feels soft,

When you have a brain,

yet you stop using one.



That is how i feel around him.




When his hands caresses yours’,

And his tender skin brushes against

yours, When he turns away from you,

Yet you know exactly what his expression is.

When you want to lean in and kiss,

But your lips are frozen to even speak.

That is how i feel around him.

It’s a cycle of never ending thirst,

Of love, lust and disgust,

The first feelings for your crush.




















love’s taste

What does love taste like?

Does it taste like the feeling

of eating after a complete day

or like eating every three hours?

Does it taste like the

red chillies and jalapenos

Or like the chocolate peanut butter?

Does it taste like the

sound of smacking a snack

Or like the moist crust of a pie?




Does it taste like the

first best kiss you ever had

Or like the last kiss you want?


lighthouse

You are the lighthouse on the shore of my heart, Spreading your rays into the walls of my art.

Rising up, streaming down, crashing right into your arms.

Mesmerized by your smile, lost in your charm.

As the long day ends, and I ring in the kaleidoscopic reef, you provide me the best relief.

You are the comfort of my storm-tossed soul, just like the rim of my kohl.

The happiness you get when you make me smile, I still want to stare at your face for a long while.

The days when your so shining bright light goes a bit off, My heart will be your penultimate quaff.

You are the lighthouse on the shore of my heart, Spreading your rays into the walls of my art.


you and me

Let’s talk about you and me tonight,

All the what ifs and what could be s,

You could be the strong ocean

and i could be your shore.

you could keep visiting me

and touching my pores,

as i would give you pieces of me,

as a trade sign in the ocean.

Oh, what if, what could be.

What if you were the sky,

Then i would be the sea,

If you would shine bright,

It would reflect in me.

We would meet at the horizon,

Where everyone would stare

and wonder with passion,

Why can’t they reach there.

Oh, what if, what could be

if you and i were just in

the right place and the right time?






































what colour are you?

what colour are you?

are you red, like love,

burning with passion

held captive by emotions,

gleaming the romantic joys of the


world, soaring above the skies, meeting


eyes across the room to find love,


dressed in red.

Or are you blue, like the ocean,

drowning in the high waves,

going deep into the surface,


fighting all the turbulences,

looking up at the sky,

wondering what is it like,

to be calm, in blue.



what colour are you?



are you green, like nature, full of life

and harmony, thinking about the

breeze and the wind, its speed and

your sins, listening to the melody,

singing to yourself those songs, that

they sell to you on the radio,

thinking what would it be

to be refreshing, like green.

Or are you brown, like home,

comforting and settling,


guarded by your walls,

finding your safe place in the world,

with a stable foundation,

touching the meadows out in the lawn,


while you marvel how would it be to


be comfortable, like brown.




what colour are you, i often wonder,

are you yellow, like the sunshine,

spreading through the walls,

beaming through every crack,

Giving hope of a better tomorrow,

as people live in dark,

laughing at what would

it be to be happy, like yellow.

Or are you just black?




























lullabies

My hands reached out to them,

always pleading,

my heart cried all for them,

always bleeding.

But my eyes were shut,

they couldn’t see it was me who was hurt.

Hurt, deeper than i thought i ever could


be, but there was no one ever for me,


people came in and went by as i sat there


singing lullabies.

Lullabies, telling the tales of

friendships turned into hatred,

of love lost to the fated,

tears shedding as my cry deceases

and i put myself back into pieces.

Days went by since i last saw the sun,


but the love for them was never undone.


today when i sit here by the sunrise, i


see myself in the skies, leaning onto the


window,


i sing some lullabies,

but this time they are of

new found love and the

darkness turned into light.



































humans as poems

I have seen humans dressed as poems.

Heart beats symbolising the battles fought,


it’s sword being the sharp edges of a haiku,


Or the soft and deep ghazal.



Words flowing through their veins,


thoughts residing in the form of verses,


telling us a story that has never been told.



Minds singing elegy for times gone by,

mysterious and lyrical,

mourning the loss of happy times.




Bodies acting as metaphors,

speaking in figures of speech,

pretending to be prose poetry.


body and words

His fingers tangled with mine as we felt each other’s skin,

so pure a moment that I lost count of the time and sat there for hours just touching his skin.

I looked into his eyes and asked if he would make love to me the same way and he held my hand firmly without looking away.

I sat there keeping my head on his shoulder, making love with words, telling him how I could give up anything to be, just like this,

with him,

in all the moments,

if I could.

He turned red, he was happy,

he asked me why can’t I always be with him.

It killed me to tell him that he was not my reality, and that I was something else.

He was body and I was words,

how could he ever speak to me love?








won’t fall in love again

No matter how many times you tell yourself you won’t fall in love again, it happens.

you do fall in love again and you find yourself playing with the fire you promised you never would.

You fall in love but they don’t, because they have seen all your scars that you never wanted them to, and for the last time they take a deep breath and decide, to leave, not love.

And now.. your heart is on fire because you went too close to it, and the ache rises from the heart, grows into the veins,

cracks through rib cage,

shouting and screaming,

gets lost in your heartbeats

as you tell yourself -- you won’t ever fall in love again.













the ocean

One, hold my hand and let’s jump in the water, the rippling waves surrounded by sand on the land, don’t leave my hand I say, you promise me you wont.

Two, we make the actual jump, the real jump we had been talking about, the water hits our faces hard, you lose the hold of my hand, we are separated apart.

Three, we start sinking into the deep bottom, that which seems like the end of it all, we still search for each other, as the water gushes into your lungs,

as you realize that I am just within you, a part of you which is drowning in the water.

Four, you hold my hand again, this time you promise me that you won’t leave it for sure, holding hands we hit back the surface, looking at each other, realizing this is how the ocean is.


















a jar of pickles

Once my grandma handed me a jar, filled to the brim, dripping of pickle oil, smelling like love, served right into my hands.

She told me to try to open it, i struggled with it for a while, both my hands were stiff, and my head struck in a band.

She told me to try once again, I repeated my actions, this time with faith, with every try I kept losing it, i guess i was trying in vain.

She then told me to hold it with both the hands, take a deep breath, realize what is inside the jar, and to try again.

I amassed all the courage I had, put both my hands around it, saw the love through the glass jar, and did it in just one shot.

She grinned looking at me, as I tasted the smell of love, from her fingers, which I remember till day, as I open my other jars of pickle.















NOTES

● how i love, talks about how a person loves fiercely, ignoring their own needs even if it leads to their burnt feets.

● home, talks about people who carry cities within them as they move cities and realize it is not about a place, it is a feeling found in a place.

● guards, talks about how we live in a world full of insecurities where what anyone says about us affects us so much that we always keep holding back our true self worth and emotions.

● appearances, is a real world tale about how people wear masks each day and pretend to be what they are not.

● feelings for your crush, is a narrative poem, depicting how you feel around your first love interest and how you are head over heel in love with them just to find out that they were just a crush.

● love’s taste, talks about what or how love is for different people since everyone has a different taste bud.


● lighthouse, paints a beautiful imagery of how a person can be the guiding source for the heart.

● you and me, reminds us all of a time when time is just not right for two people, even if they are poetically in love.

● what colour are you, traces a person’s character along the sparkle of a colour as can also be determined by what they usually yearn for as a person painted as red longs for a love dressed in red.

● lullabies, is a slam poem written to depict how times change as a person keeps sitting by the window singing lullabies to themselves.

● humans as poems, compares humans to poems just like it is.

haiku is a japanese form of unrhymed poetry.

ghazal is a peaceful poem with deep meaning, basically written in the urdu language.

elegy is a poem written to mourn the loss of someone.

● body and words, is a short affair of word and body till one of them realizes that they can never make love to each other.


● won’t fall in love again, another poem written about how some people fall in love so furiously that it burns their heart, yet they fall in love again as they just warned themselves not to.

● the ocean, is a tale about how things happen when we plan something big. we keep talking about it, but when the real time comes, we lose our own selves in order to be successful but we soon realize that we are nothing without it.

● a jar of pickles, is dedicated to my grandmother, who will always be a part of me. in this, i explore how a small lesson taught can be taught by a small action.


*thanks for reading*



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