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The poems in this book are original works from the author.


Copyright © 2018 by Edwin Betancourt


Created in the United States of America


First Printing, 2018



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Mannequin: A Collection of Original Poetry

By Edwin Betancourt

◊◊◊



Poems

  • “My Carnival”

  • “Waiting For You”

  • “The Asylum”

  • “My Truth”

  • “A Hazard”

  • “Lost Echoes”

  • “Trap of Love”

  • “Mannequin”

  • “Instagram Men”

  • “Love Sick”

  • “Mad Love”

  • “Lois Lane”

  • “Motion”

  • “Shallow Men Never Win The Race”

  • “Broken Record”

  • “It’s Over”

  • “I’m That Gay”

  • “Broken Record (Reprise)”

  • “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”

  • “Mannequin (Reprise)”

  • “Lies”

  • “I’m Me”

  • “Love Never Loved Me”

  • “10/18”









Mannequin:

A lifeless dummy, used in place of a real human.











































My Carnival



It’s like I’m losing my mind,

I’m falling and sinking in this ocean, away from what I’ve done.

Can you understand I’m crying out for help?

Do you even care at all?

Or are you counting my last breath?

I don’t have time to please you,

I’m losing my mind don’t you see?

Can’t you see I’m falling down?

I’m asking questions but the answers we don’t even know.

Welcome to my crazy Carnival.

Don’t try to let me go- I’m bleeding out my heart.

And I know you’re watching me.

I don’t have time to please you,

As I fall, creatures will break my fall.

The voices in my mind are beautiful!

Creatures will break my fall.

In this Carnival.

In my Carnival.

Can’t you hear them?

~







Waiting For You



Yes-No; it’s all in my mind.

You left me here all alone.

There is no explanation for me, why?

They will find you soon and I’ll be right here, waiting for you.

They will corrupt you but I’ll be right here, waiting for you.

Do they know who I am to you?

No, don’t think so baby.

They wouldn’t want you to be free,

They will find you soon and I will be right here, waiting for you.

Don’t run away love, because I am right here waiting for you.

Cold and bitter, I know this feeling all too well.

You- You lied to me when you said that you would return.

Don’t let them corrupt you, I’m still here waiting for you.

Do they care if you bleed where you stand?

No, it’s okay baby, because you are sleeping where they want you…in their hell.

They want to consume you, but I’m right here waiting for you.

Don’t leave me burning here all alone, I’ll always be right here…waiting for you.

~



The Asylum



Cold, shallow yet dry this river runs,

The hallucination of hope fills both my lungs.

I thought I could come here for answers.

That thinking was wrong, as I’m haunted with hurt, pain and solitude.

Maybe this is where I belong, in a world playing silent songs.

A place where wingless birds soar through the skies,

And I’m dressed in bruises and fed all of your lies.

The sounds of stomping, screaming and death can be heard miles away.

I know the Mannequin will cut through my memories and get me one day.

As time floats on and I stay paralyzed here,

I’ll find happiness in my trusted fears.

It won’t be long until I’m comforted by them,

Buried within these suppressed memories like the deceased buried underground.

But for now I’ll stay in this broken, rusted and forgotten house.

I will be protected, loved and remembered in this place.

No fear, Monsters, Mannequins or hurt could turn me against myself.

No amount of hell can change me from being myself.

Your forked tongue, shallow beliefs and wicked mind, will never tear me down after I built myself up.

And I know everything will get better for me, once I wake up.

~





My Truth



“Your truth is a lie”, the doctor told me with rage in his voice,

My truth is mine alone, but to him it’s a choice.

My life is a scary reality, where tears come out for no reason.

I’m given two choices: to change my truth or die in here,

But how can I sit back and accept that, when I’m no longer living in fear?

You see, being someone else makes one live a lie daily,

Living a truth will have people hate, but that doesn’t faze me.

My truth is what I hold dearly to my blood and broken heart,

Keep me in your Asylum but you will never tear me apart,

All my life, people said my truth makes me crazy and I’ll never get far.

I’m crazy? Don’t they know? All the best people are.

~

















A Hazard



There you go again, dancing in the dark,

Dying in the heat because you’re afraid to swim with sharks.

Don’t you see a piece of your heart dies daily?

You’d rather carry the pitchfork than burn at the stake.

You’d rather have them see you as a lie than a mistake.

I get it, I got it, your silence is loud.

Now hear me and see me, I am a Hazard and proud!

You hide your sunshine and rainbows,

So the storm clouds hide what they shouldn’t know.

It’s understandable to stand with the crowd and jeer,

Why have an open mind and heart when they cause us to live in fear?

They go after us because we’re living happily,

They blacken our eyes because our paradise they refuse to see.

While you stand by them over my broken body, tell me, at the end of the day; who’s standing beside you?

I get it, I got, your silence is loud,

Now hear me and see me, I am a Hazard and proud!

I remember a time where I could smile and dance,

A time where love was always given a chance.

Now they’re hoping to take all of that away,

Because to them, “It’s not normal to be Gay”.

But my brothers and sisters stand with me in solidarity,

No matter what, we’re united in love, dreams and we’re a family.

I know you’re scared and I know you think you’ll lose this fight.

You’re stronger than you think and it’ll be alright,

Leave their darkness of hate and go chase the light.

You’re one of us and together we’ll rise.

We get it, We got it, your silence is loud,

Now hear us and see us, we are Hazards and proud!

~





Lost Echoes



The pain you feel takes over your mind,

I know that we’re done, because in your eyes; I no longer live.

But I won’t cry out ‘Mayday’!

I don’t want to be the one rescued,

I’m done pretending you’re mine.

So you pretend that we’re fine, just stop you’re wasting your time.

But atleast I know I’ll be alright.

You thought you could stomp my heart,

With every breath you took, I still survived.

Lost Echoes are dancing,

You ran out of chances,

Run, we’ll never find the Lost Echoes in the air!

Lost Echoes everywhere,

Lost Echoes in the air,

Lost Echoes will dance!

The rain pours down my window,

And it’ll never heal my hurt soul, until we’ve learned to forgive.

Lost Echoes are still dancing,

You ran out of chances.

Run, we’ll never hear the Echoes in the air,

Lost Echoes in the air,

Lost Echoes everywhere…Lost Echoes will soar!

~





Trap Of Love



You’re using your words and now, the walls I put up are down.

I’m hanging on your every word as if they’re significant.

There must be something wrong here, you are quick to play your game,

And I’m dumb to come back, just like a moth to the flame.

When I’m with you I get burned, for some reason I like it.

Your bloody smile gives me pain, can’t have pain without pleasure.

Oh, I need some therapy or a lobotomy!

I can’t escape this feeling, it’s the same Auld Lang Syne!

I see no padlock here,

It’s just a part of my fear,

I knew I’d be stuck here, Caught in your Trap of Love!

Just like Adam I’m a fool, I bit the apple too soon.

While the serpent called my name, with my sins I’m not ashamed.

I find myself standing here, My soul stares at you so queer.

I can smell your scent looming--my fear is always soothing!

So you got me here what’s your plan?

Deal the card that’s in your hand.

Like a cat chasing a mouse, you thought of ways to cage me.

I saw the string but still fell--I guess you won this.

Am I your prisoner here?

I ask because it’s not clear.

You think you’re showing me love, truth is you don’t show enough.

But who am I to judge you?

I’m not God or Jesus Christ, just someone the light forgot.

Don’t worry I’ll be alright.

I see no padlock here,

It’s just a part of my fear,

I knew I’d be stuck here, Caught in your Trap of Love!

As much as I try to fight this…I can’t get enough of you.

Caught in your Trap of Love!

~



Mannequin



You’re frozen and posing—A plastic Supermodel,

You’re trying yet failing---You’re too cold to coddle.

I was a fool to think my love could bring you to life,

I was a tool to think my kiss could end your strife.

Now I’m here waiting for you again,

While you’re out there like a lost echo with no end.

Where are you?

You’re always late to the show.

How are you?

You don’t even know

You’re a prop and lack thick skin,

What should I expect from a Mannequin?

Come here and stand for all,

Show off your assets so I can watch you fall.

Lose yourself to make yourself,

When he’s done tearing you apart, you’ll be placed on a shelf.

Embrace your sin and never look within.

You’re never meant to win, My lovely Mannequin.

Remember all those years spent trying to be someone?

Remember all those nights you’d hit me until I was numb?

Of course you don’t and of course you won’t.

To remember anything you’ll need a brain,

When someone else is gifted with my love, I’m sure you’ll remember my name.

So let up and get up; move those limbs for me.

Don’t stiff up, don’t give up; there’s more you can be.

Mannequin, you lost your way,

Mannequin, I can no longer stay.

Mannequin, you’re everyone but you,

Mannequin, there’s no sense in being untrue.

Mannequin, I found myself after leaving you.

Mannequin,… Thank you.

~













Instagram Men



My confidence shouldn’t be your ‘DTF’,

My happiness shouldn’t be your ‘Hit n’ Run’!

I don’t post a picture for you to invade my space with your John Thomas and un kept lies.

I post a picture emitting my confidence, bravery and showing my insecurities to the world.

To me that’s what being a real person is!

Sadly to you, it’s an invitation for unwarranted come ons.

So once again I’ll say it louder, My confidence isn’t your ‘DTF’!

~









Love Sick



My life was dark and eerie- just how I love it!

Until an invasion, took place and changed all of it.

Instead of singing ballads, I’m singing karaoke;

What the hell have you done to me?

My heart flutters when you say my name,

My eyes light up as if I just won the Hunger Games!

Your touch makes my knees quiver,

You’re damaging me like alcohol to my livers.

I’m Love Sick when you’re around,

Love Sick, my heart makes a weird sound.

Love Sick, I’m Love Sick…God help me!

Life to me were grey clouds and candle lit dreams,

A broken heart and pain that never was stitched at the seams.

It was enough to make me wallow in sorrow,

Assuming I would never find tomorrow.

But you tilted, shook, tore and invaded my world.

Are you Heaven sent or the Anti Christ?

I’m Love Sick; why won’t your love quit?

I’m Love Sick and I kinda love it!

~



Mad Love



It’s Friday night so let’s paint this city red,

We’ll mix it up with Glitter, confetti and dread!

No one will be very happy to see us.

But we’ll put a permanent smile on their faces!

Mad Love, is what we got,

Mad Love, we call the shots!

Mad Love, in case you forgot,

Mad Love, it’s them against us!

Mad Love baby,

Our Mad Love’s crazy!

Years ago, you opened my mind to a whole new world,

I was lost, numb and immune but that took a whole new turn.

You saw something in me, I never saw in myself.

I traded all my insecurities for madness and I feel great!

Mad Love baby,

Our Mad Love’s crazy!

They want me in orange but I found freedom in black and red,

They say you don’t love me and it’s all just in my head.

But the love you and I share will always be mad.

Mad Love, baby,

Our Mad Love’s crazy.

Mad Love, you’re my baby,

Mad Love, I am crazy.

It’s Mad Love and I want no other love.

~





Lois Lane



You have the weight of the world on your shoulders,

Everyday you’re fighting a new battle like a soldier on the front line.

A choice will have to be made, and I fear you’ll choose the wrong one.

I’m not a damsel in distress,

I’m not going to be the reason you stress.

I know you’re a man of great strength and flight,

I refuse to be your Kryptonite.

Forget about me, I will be alright, leave me here, just go into the night.

I won’t be the reason you fail, I can’t be the Delilah of this tale.

Your heart is too pure for me to stain, I can’t be your Lois Lane.

The city has problems both underground and above,

The police can only do what they can to protect all of us.

That’s when you come in to save the day and catch the bad guys,

And all I can do is try to avoid danger and stay alive.

Forget about me, I will be alright, leave me here, just go into the night.

I won’t be the reason you fail, I can’t be the Delilah of this tale.

Your heart is too pure for me to stain, I can’t be your Lois Lane.

Don’t cry for me,

Go save the day.

Leave me here and let me be,

I made your choice and now you’re free.

Forget about me, I will be alright, leave me here, just go into the night.

I won’t be the reason you fail, I can’t be the Delilah of this tale.

Your heart is too pure for me to stain,

I won’t be your Lois Lane.

~





Motion



I’m waking up in a world I never knew about,

Where my heartache is gone and I could no longer shout.

The beauty I felt with grey clouds is gone with the sun,

It’s been only 8 years since I thought love was over and done.

I was a leader, my pedestal was my pride you see,

I’ve been dead for so long, I don’t even know if this is me.

It wasn’t long until you flew in and swept me off my feet,

Fortune tellers warned me this is my reality.

But you, you move me like the Ocean,

I turned off my emotions.

I don’t need a Love Potion,

Because I’m going through the Motion.

I cannot tell you I’m doing fine here,

My ghosts of solitude gave you an evil stare.

You’re not from this planet because you’re too well rounded,

Then again, I shouldn’t talk because I’m still grounded.

I can feel with your presence I’m becoming human,

It feels so strange because I was a volcano just fuming.

I felt so much better just going with the status quo,

But you’re not only touching my heart but also my soul.

I was going through the motion,

And now you’re here, moving me like the ocean.

~















Shallow Men Never Win The Race



Imagine being so ugly you have to lash out at me,

When I say ‘ugly’ I’m referring to your personality.

“Too fem, too fat, you need to lose your tummy!”

This is the culture, but who the hell signed up for it?

You may be shallow, rude, obnoxious and stupid,

I thank the heavens; you and I were never hit by an arrow from Cupid!

I’m me and happy to be,

Nobody invited you to my beautiful party!

Save your words, I’m already gone.

Because of your personality, you’ll always be alone.

~





Broken Record



I still see you wherever I go,

You’re a ghost that won’t leave me alone!

You are not dead, but you’re dead to me,

Which explains why you’re the face I always see.

Stop! Lets find a way to deal with this.

No, we cannot fix all this hurt with a kiss!

Don’t pretend I, not him is your eternal bliss,

I’m already gone so all my love you will surely miss.

Now you are calling my name as I’m walking out the door,

You and I are done, told you that many times before.

You gave your heart away like candy in a store,

Now you are on your knees but this scene is a bore!

Broken Record, that’s what you are.

Broken Record, Broken Record, Broken, Broken.

I was stupid to think you’d change-change.

You were quick to get out of range- range.

Now you’re alone and want me back-back.

But I don’t have the time to deal with all of that.

Let us, forget us, hurt us, ignore us--- Either way I’m done with you.

You are used to getting what you want,

That thinking led you back to your ex in Vermont.

Taking you back would brand me a fool,

And I don’t have time to make that look cool.

Broken Record, that’s what you are.

Broken Record, Broken Record, Broken, Broken.

You’re a broken record, repeating yourself.

You’re a broken record, repeating-peating.

You’re a broken-broken-repeating-broken.

You’re a broken-record-record-repeating-broken-yourself!

You’re a broken-broken-record-broken-repeating-broken-repeating-record.

You’re a Broken Record.

~































It’s Over



I will never believe I fell for your lies,

Then again I’m not at all surprised.

So my pain I ignored just to be happy,

Of all the stupid things I’ve done, I admit to all of this.

Victory however went to me when I left this sinking ship.

Even though my heart broke into pieces the day I left.

Realizing I was alone all along with you, was the last straw...It’s Over.

~

















I’m That Gay



I’m that Gay that would rather know your name than your penis size or favorite positions.

I’m that Gay that avoids dramatic situations.

I’m that Gay that believes Romance isn’t dead but forgotten.

I’m that Gay that wears less leather and more cotton.

I’m that Gay that has a voice which outs me more,

I’m that Gay that is proud to announce I’m not a man whore!

I’m that Gay that will make you feel like a king come that special night,

I’m that Gay who believes one day I’ll find my Mr. Right.

I’m that Gay that people call ‘delusional and crazy’.

I’m that Gay and there’s no one else in the world like me.

~

















Broken Record (Reprise)



You’re stuck on repeat inside of my head,

You’re back like a boomerang, no one wants to catch.

Your voice is like nails scratching down a chalkboard.

Why are you here?

I’m not playing this record again it’s broken-broken.

I’m throwing-throwing, you out and never looking back-back.

You will never be my Broken Record.

~











Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

Uh oh, here we go.

Another night stuck on this rollercoaster.

High- Low, fast and slow.

I never know which part of you I’m going to get.

Are you mad, sane, sad or vengeful?

Are you happy, sappy, quiet or mindful?

Red, green, blue and white,

Colorful lights brighten up this night.

Back and forth, up and down,

Either way you cut it, there’s only room for one.

I just want to love you, for you,

But the monster inside has a mind of its own.

A monster not even Dr. Frankenstein can tame.

The darkness inside never stays the night,

He’s cold, alone and always playing his mind games.

I can’t complain about it now, it’s a little too late.

I made my bed and now I’ll have to lay in it,

Deep within the roots, you’re hiding inside.

But for now I’m in love with Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.

Everyone had warned me to open my eyes and see the bigger picture,

They said “Love is better when your heart is whole and not sutured”.

But I ignored them, because our love was true,

Well, now I see there wasn’t any love from you.

I’ll open my eyes to the truth eventually,

But for now, all I can do is sit here and pretend to be me.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, both of them live inside.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, you’ll never let me love the real you.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, I hope you live well together.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde…This is my goodbye.

~























Mannequin (Reprise)

Designer clothes,

A statue with no toes;

Manufactured to only do one pose.

Maybe we could have been together,

But I can’t be with someone that isn’t real.

Don’t cry out for me, I’m long gone,

I wish you well, my Mannequin.

~

















Lies



“I can’t believe God made you just for me!”

Lies!

“I will treat you better than anyone before, I will give you love, so you’ll never have to seek for more.”

Lies!

“You’re the moon to my sun, because you never go away. You’re the clouds to my sky because you’re always here to stay.”

Lies!

“No matter what life throws at us, I will love you forever. I will make sure for eternity we are together!”

Lies!

“I love you baby and-“

Lies! Lies! And more Lies!

~

























I’m Me!



I may not be a ten, but maybe a one.

I may not be as butch as a jock.

But I’m me and that’s what makes me unique.

I may sound like a diva when I speak,

But you’ll be treated like royalty in the sheets.

I may write away my feelings because I’m scared to tell you.

I may not look like an Instagram model yearning for likes and mindless validation.

But I’m me and that’s what makes me unique!

~

















Love Never Loved Me



Stuck in a dream, that’s what I get,

Lost in a fantasy, a place that isn’t real.

In my mind, I created a world where love knows my name,

A place where I’m living proudly and don’t feel ashamed.

Sadly that world is just in my head,

And my reality is loveless and full of dread.

Love is a villain and that much is true,

Love is a cannibal and I’m the main ingredient in her stew.

Love never loved me.

She hated my guts since the get go.

Love never loved me.

She sold my heart quicker than the illuminati buying a soul.

Love never loved me.

No matter how hard I try to convince myself,

Love never loved me.

~

















10/18



In a town full of fog, I can hear him calling my name.

He’s scared.

He’s confused,

He’s lonely,

He’s hungry.

How can he be here? I lost him in a fiery red flash!

He had his last breath stolen from him fast.

I’ve heard about that town, it’s a place where the dead wallow in their regret.

Where they’re forced to live, because once they’re gone their names and faces we forget.

But his name was always planted deep in my mind, and now he wants me to find him there.

He wants me to get him.

I refuse to rip that Band-Aid off this wound because it hasn’t healed!

Yet I need to see him.

I need to go to that town named Mourningville.

I know you can hear me, brace yourself, I’m coming to find you.

I think it’s time you and I finally speak again.

I’ll see you soon…Dad.

~

















Thank you to all!

My other books of poetry are also available:

  • Halloween’s Serenade: A Collection of Original Halloween Themed Poems”



  • Perfect Dream: A Collection of Original Poems”



And coming this October is:

  • Mourningville: A Collection of Original Halloween Themed Poems”



Thank you again!!!!



Xoxox Edwin Betancourt aka Eddy Bee!






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