include_once("common_lab_header.php");
Excerpt for Demons In My Windows: A Poetry Collection by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

This page may contain adult content. If you are under age 18, or you arrived by accident, please do not read further.






Demons In My Windows: A Poetry Collection

© Skylar Bannon, All Rights Reserved.




About this collection: I wrote this collection over several years of my life. Each poetry section is about someone or something going on during these years of self-discovery. I’ve broke up this book into multiple sections and before each section I have detailed what inspired those sections. I decided to make this book available to everyone to heal those who are broken and feel like they want to give up, as well as to those who need help with self-discovery (Trust me...it’s not easy in a world that has thousands who still would rather see you buried during a graveyard shift then to be alive and a helpful kind human to Planet Earth.) I hope you enjoy this look into my life, and I hope it heals those who struggle with depression, self-identity, or any other issues that tear away at your soul. <3


And before I go into my book I have to share this beautiful, charming quote from one of the greatest songwriters of the past century…


“And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware of what they’re going through..”- David Bowie






THE BOY

Author note: These poems and “songs” were written around the time of my self-discovery. I thought I was falling madly in love with what society would call their “prince charming”. More like a douchebag. But each day we got closer and closer and he even expressed his love for me. He asked me out and I said yes and that’s when I swear the Satan on his shoulder turned him into the most cruel human being you could ever meet. Ah well, there’s always more fish in the sea. Let’s get started :)


PS. If you are against me living my true self, I’m okay with that. Please close this book and go on with your day. If I receive hate from any readers on this topic you are truly wasting your time. God (or any person you believe in) has made me this way and he also added a pinch of sass for me to drive the haters into oblivion. (sorry got sassy.. I'll be quiet now)
















Tides

You give me a glance of immense beauty

that reflects off the waves creating musical waves

for the sick whom have no one to ride the tide with them.


Beneath the Portal

Within each rush of water

that covers your face as you drown with no passage to salvation

I thought you needed me to rescue you, but I

fell short of courage and suffocated.

Drowned with your insanity that brought no life to me.


Chronicles of the Sea

1- Birth


Immaculate entrance

within a tinted room

that shined with your awakening

Coral designs covered your shell

I knelt beside you and witnessed a birth


2- Meeting You Once More


You came back,

a requite of strangers.

You were embraced within new arms

coated in sadness because the winch

wanted nothing more than nightlife love.


3- Unspoken Ends

Bereft and begging

within this new beginning

You try to get me back with words you cannot speak.




Untitled #1

Keeping you from loneliness

is all I desired.

No one understands me, you, or this strange connection.

But we say goodbye to lost causes that bring us down.

Goodnight and goodbye, my love.


Untitled #2

Crystal starlight

in a sphere that deforms with each soul that betrays.

Confine to dogmatic ignorance and lick the hand of murderous love.

Ignore true compassion and fall into demonic affection that get you

nowhere but back to the poison.

Inject yourself for all I fucking care. Goodbye.


Untitled #3

Love is just an endless lie that deteriorates over time.

A meadow of players; a calamity of true love that digs itself into

a hole of distraught.


Rivers of Regret

With each tick of the clock,

the rushing current sweeps me to disclosed bedrooms.

I see you have chosen your toy and I was nothing more than a washed up

backup.


Tears of Torture

Long winters meet my long days.

Long summers meet me loneliness.

Passing Romeo’s and attached Juilets.

I wonder if I wasn’t designed

to love in this fire brought blanket that burns me away.

Burns me.

I tear my soul into a jar of trinkets.

I tear my soul into tears of torture.

Fuck You.

(You don’t deserve my love)



Apart With Apathy

A balloon in the sky,

enlarged to show its Mona Lisa disguise.

Romeo stands next to me,

whispering enchanting lies.

You always told me love is a ballroom dance,

that only ends when we die.

You left my side and chose a slut,

who left you shortly after.

I wonder if you think of our past,

do you think of the many times we embraced?

Do you suffocate or break down thinking you’re a hopeless romantic?

Well, you are.



Eclipse

Enlightened across several daunting steps

you caught waterfall designs and made stars.

Dangling shards of broken hearts

to eclipse the night and enlighten lives.

Don’t let me pass by, I won’t return.

Don’t wait for the eclipse to end, I will just let you fall.


Don’t leave me in darkness.

My castle needs the aura of your love, your passion…



The Boy

Karma struck you and you descend with each bang of the gong.

Shivering on the outside you seek me for warmth,

I deny.

You are a bandit, a lost soul searching for love in all

the wrong ways.

I tried my best to be your affection, but the compassion

fades under stormy skies.

A wrecking ship that sinks under a plastic filled ocean.

I watch you swallow too much and drown.


The Grip

In a solid grip,

an embrace so rejuvenating that my suicidal thoughts

slipped off my tongue.

There was a boy, who I thought cared.

It was all celebrity compassion blended with bones and death.

The fireworks of beauty and the hardening love.

Experiences like this cannot be replaced with new they must be filled.

Fill the void, please.

Don’t decoy the unrighteous love..

I’m probably not worth you, I definitely was.

Fuck you.


Love In My Darkness

In a seeping coma, of my drowning corpse.

A shivering message on a stone that says,

nothing but the Devil’s love.

Love for my darkness in my deterioration.

Love in my darkness.


Untitled #5

I’ll never understand fake love,

and why people ruin the good inside those

who feel connection.

Fake admiration is dangerous and can lead

a lonely soul to the pinebox.

Pimping yourself out because you think your macho

is a disgrace to every person on this planet to witness.

I hope you’re being used, like you used me.


Another Ballad (Another Day)

He ripped me apart and left me on the bed

All alone I was left with no pride.

Suicide eyes and Morrissey wine,

I had no hope for living.

I wanted to get wasted and go to sleep..




Passive

Suffocate through willow eyes

that gleam a stare and break your heart.

Devour under pressure,

til you reach the bone.

The bone of your loves,

your heartless woe.

Passive I will become,

when you touch my soul.

Passive I will become until dawn.


The Painting

I feel the electric love,

a current within imagination.

The swift reverie of constellation

that sews into paintings.

A love of murals and morals and trust unbroken.

I cannot see between your ocean tides,

for the painting is incomplete.

Our painting has just begun.


Breaking The Mold

If you lick the ice and sacrifice the undertone,

I will arise and show the sign.

The sign of life and unholy light.

This light will contend, contend to flames and the effigy.

The effigy of love that we’ve created but watch it disappear.

Night came and I watched you disappear,

under the statue to another man.

He took your hand and fed you life,

a life I could never give.

My love dwindled in a darkest passion of desolate isolation.

Untitled #6

Feelings that drown in fire..

A bullet hit my heart and you gifted a smile.

You will watch me subside…

But I won’t forget as my orb watches.


Black Tears

As I sit in my isolation my heart hits a point of giving up.

The black tears stream, the guilt of accepting you into my life remains.

The winter snow falls on me, in hopes of hypothermia.

Your eloquent ways hide the truthfulness,

as the doting children run in misery.

The thought of you having happiness is as scary as it comes.

(You will ruin humanity)


Goal

You want me to accept defeat,

bow to your bereft heart.

I don’t give up that easily.

As the summer horizon collides to the surface,

your lies grow taller than Everest.

If I can condemn your selfishness..

If I can stop my sorrowful draining heart from leaking…

Leaking your savagery across the nation as more worthy individuals suffer with telling the truth.


Casual Dreamer

Laying beside you with the sun peeking through

I see your smile and handsome stature.

You are the most charming thing this world could offer, please keep me away from the fire.

Casual dreamer that is all I’ll be

dreaming of this love that could not be.

I would gladly make this reality,

if you could save me from this dreamer misery.

Eloquent eyes and tasteful lips,

endless wanting and my heart in bliss.

I said in secrecy to myself

“He’s the one, the one forever.”

I swear you heard me and flew away like a light feather.

Casual dreamer that is all I’ll be

dreaming of this love that cannot be

Stuck in hell’s fires because you refused to

save me as you embrace a new love happily.

Midnight Rambler

I am a midnight rambling lunatic,

your love has sent me over the edge.

I am hoping to become your chosen boy,

but all I do is ramble on.

The stars point to California but I can’t leave your sight.

You’re precious, delicious.. a charming guy.

The midnight rambler is signing off as I can no longer

express anymore tonight.


Sinner’s Love

Falling into my spiritual world

of materializing passageways.

My father extends his hand giving me my only second chance.

Hide within a vial of cyanide,

as the ghouls consume my soul.

I venerate.

Consuming the unknown,

as I attempt to embrace the coy ones.

Internally accepting, externally rejecting..

the sinner’s love.


Sinner’s Love Part Two

He tells me

“Dreams are tasteless.”

As I lean in to evict his sins.

Conjoining hearts of sorrow is a perfect match.

The world full of deathless cherubs seems magical,

until I descended into a fire inside.

Untitled #7 & #8

Hiding with guilt,

hiding with corrosion.

Hiding with affection,

hiding from the light.


The unforgotten raven

of murderous beauty.

Spiraling, descending, cinching to me with delight.

Garden of Suicidal Memories

Walking through the garden,

as the storm ravages on.

I fall into a puddle, I slowly drown.

You tell me it isn’t my time and pick me up.

I thought you were the only one who actually gave a fuck.

The cascading ivy embraces the wall like English filigree,

as you take over me.

My true colors break the million holographic hearts,

as your heart remains unbroken.


Several More Untitled Poems..

You are hiding your little secrets,

as I tuck my blade between diamond walls.

You tell me you love me,

as I begin my beautiful fall.

Like a thousand colts escalating with a sense

of relenting.

I back away hoping you will never forget.


The great flash of light surrounding our haunting home.

As you descend back into the world of the hopeless.

I begin to beckon the beautiful saviors as the

lace tightens around my throat, it was my fault.


Your denial glistens with treacherous beginnings,

the angels descend into fiery pits.

Your bittersweet lies glow under streetlight destruction,

as the embers rise to take me away.


Love enlightens the weak.

Love burns the hidden emotions,

as the cascading sky glows in pristine fashion.

I suffer everyday with regret and depression longing for you.

You rein under the heavy darkness, you make me bleed emotionally.


I hid myself for years

and once I came clean everyone faded into darkness.

As I fell with no hand to help back up… Requiem.

You impressed me with lies as you hid the truth.

Devoured my soul as I hung from your noose.

You loved me in reveries as dreams exploded with heartache.

I won’t forget your charm as I descend into the ground.


Farewell, Endlessly

Press my face beneath the ocean

as I swallow our bittersweet pride.

Devouring crumbling statues,

infectious memories in stone.

I know love condescends from truthfulness, so I..


Say goodbye for the final time like a prepared catastrophe.

I made a quick escape from your sight.

I stared into the crystal ball, the clairvoyant told me my life is short.

Friends objected the omens, the soothsayer hung his head.

As I walked away from you and the evil, giving life a second chance.


Untitled Series Again..

You wanted to control me

like a reborn holocaust.

Under a caustic sky,

I averted from you.

Not only to save myself,

but to end your malicious ways.


A ballroom full of bones,

a party floating upon blood.

Swallowing fears and with a mighty cheerful,

the party concludes gracefully.


Ripping my heart in memory of you, why they ask?

Have you felt love?

Is being different a crime?

Is loving the same.. destructive?

It’s taken several months but you are now broken glass to me.

No more shall you stab me with your insincerity.

Chaos and Love (The Unforgotten Tale)

You compile your list of loves

as I’m denounced from my rein of being with you, was charming.

Your belligerent truth shined through, the forsaken bled for you

under the thirty bleeding veins that drip from the overpass of hell.

You chuckle walking into your new love’s arms.


The Platitudinous Way

Your banal, unoriginal love

somewhat sparkling with uncertainty.

Your conjoining heart of the same love,

now washed into a vial of malevolence.

Your platitudinous way defines your love.


Elegies For You

I stare into those jaded blue eyes

waiting for you to make the next move.

Denied.

You present the creature of the night,

who you fuck in silence.

I’m not your voyeur, I just know the truth.

This is an elegy for you, because your life

will deteriorate without me.


You

You slubber, you slip,

into the hole falling through the

gossamer as the spiders creep near.

You deny, you accept,

your demise with sweet agreement of beloved postures of

nocturnal ocean tides.

Slipping, falling,

you accept.

You deny.

You correlate.

You divide.


Untitled # (lost count)

You pretended in your masquerade,

strolling through the streets with me like I was your hellhound.

You pretended to care.

She pretended. He pretended.

Life pretended to be happiness.


Imaginary Illusion

If you’d like to label me

please write, discarnate.

If you’d like to forget me

as I’m eroded with dreams, please do.

I’m your imaginary illusion with no hope in sight for love.


Bleeding Out

You’re a broken cliche

losing friends everyday.

Only to gain enemies,

as the passing sky displays the truth.

God, the creator,

that loved our love banishes you.

You throw me into these pits of jabbing knives.

Bleeding out.


A Story At Ten

A trial in fire (embers arising)

I see the halo glisten above your head.

An angel of the gods,

as my pain reflects in the mirrors.

My sins shining through to show my true side.

You ignore the signs,

and we kiss under dim streetlights as the outside world

begins degrading in a tea cup, a kettle.

Boiling our skin.

Burning.

Screaming.

Separated love.

Dreaming. Unforgiving blaze.







THE OTHER COLLECTIONS


Author Note: Alright so you made it through some dark shit. Easiest way to put it. These are not much better. I tried to not add any other “lovey-dovey and/or emo” nonsense into this collection but hey that’s how I express myself. I’ve included some pretty strong language throughout this book but I’m telling you that I have included more in this next section. These are rather random too at times so bare with me. Let’s go!






















Pride

Writing by dim light

with a delusional vision of whites and blacks.

War between the colors,

people still using the word fag.

Why can’t we just accept people for who they are?

Why do we resort to hate?

It’s a new year and everyone falls into graveyard parties.

Some days I wonder if I should have joined the stars,

when I think of their malevolence.

Whom shall see?

A starman shall see.. life’s greatest hopes.



Just Smile

We all have dark days

where you get sorrow’s deepest secrets.

You can’t swallow your tears,

you feel suicide is the midnight train to

salvation.

You cannot let your heart be thrown into the black hole,

dilapidated and shattered.

If you happen to keep stumbling,

I will be there to catch you.

I will catch you.

We all have dark days

where you get people’s deepest secrets

and you can’t swallow the news.

You feel lost.

You want to spread your sorrow.

Just smile.







A David Bowie Memorial

Ground control to Lady Stardust,

there’s a rebel starman lost in space.

Oh wait I misinterpreted, he’s going back home.

Ground control to Lady Stardust,

here’s your last dance so put your dancing shoes on.

Ground control…


Murder of 49th Street

Like a flower that efflorescence,

the shadow came with a bloom.

A figurine of the nightlife,

a marauder of the times.

A feeling of fear,

as a grimalkin comes near.

Murder on 49th street,

the only place to meet.

Don’t forget to greet the man with the blade.


The moonlight portrays itself with illuminating auras,

as the townspeople gather over a freshly chopped corpse;

heads on fence post.


Murder on 49th street,

the only place to meet.

The man who will make you meat.


Untitled Again

Under the shiny daylight the beams press against my face

presenting an ancient remembrance of my fashion gods.

Glistening glitter treachery, I kneel beside you to see the cave collapse.


Melancholy Stars

Is this the beginning or the end of life?

Is this the song,

the song you sang that night?

The night of the melancholy stars.


Is this the dreams you desired or the regretted ones?

Is this the sway of the beat, or the shot of your gun?

Glance up and see the melancholy stars.


I don’t know if I could speak to you any longer.

I want to be as far away from you with all desire.

If these stars fail to illuminate the sky,

I will escape into the darkness.


Is this the beginning or the end of life?

Is this the song, the song you chose tonight?

The night of the melancholy stars.



More About The Boy

Every sea separates

like every romance you embrace.

You’re like a flower flowing in the wind,

and the devil underneath my skin.

You illuminate the world, you set fire to it.

The demons scatter the lands as the angels make a late arrival,

as we reminiscence our first date.

Teardrops hit the gravel, as diamonds shine

through the shopkeeper’s window.

You seem better now in your sophisticated state of mind.

Ghost dissipate in the northern mist as the flowers turn to solitude of gray.

The dead arise in their dream worlds. Somnambulist at best.

You left on that April evening from the sea port. I watched the mighty sails

flow in the wind.

You are now just a memory.


Saviors Inside A Fire

You fall into the hole to find your salvation.

All I see is the scar and blood seeping through the crevices,

you lose track of time.

As I leave on the train for Amsterdam.

Salvation suffocating from a noose

as your skin becomes loose and you fall to your demise.

Suicide is not the easy escape.

I tried to warn you as your children,

now bereft with heartache,

send your body down the shore.


Paranormal

Sacred thoughts of the child,

the child laid down to suffer in a frigid room of loneliness.

His body mysteriously thrown,

through the white wall as his ghost escapes it in a delirious way.

(Paranormal affection)

(Paranormal separation)

(Paranormal disintegration)


Buried Alive

Lost in concentration,

of unknown fascination.

Riding the long route in a coffin,

a bumpy ride in my hearse.

My hole’s being dug,

buy why oh why?

I’m alive.

Buried alive with affection,

lost in desperation.

Striking a totem aflame,

under a curse I remain.

Swinging via rope to your extended arms,

conjoined hearts separated through suicide and sugar kisses.

Lost in disparity of transmitting happiness,

that cannot be coded.

(tearing me apart.)

Buried alive with affection,

lost in separation.

Failing to succeed,

as my love tears my heart apart and throws me in the ground.


Last Love (A Winter’s Tale)

As desperation extends to unconscious love,

bringing winter’s desires to blank stares.

The grip of your hands grabbing my shoulder as snow falls

and icy roads.

A love nevermore.

A kiss nevermore.

Last love.

Last love.

A love that don’t last

is a kiss nevermore.

(A winter’s tale)


Edge

We stood in a crowd of addiction.

Addicted lunatics who look at us like insane criminals.

We try to explain our edge, but get ridiculed.

Our views smashed in pantomime spotlights,

projecting our message uninformed.

We won’t leave our edge, we will wear the X.

Drugs can rot in hell, like most people on this Earth.


My Views From A Satellite


An arrow that splits in two before ever leaving the bow.

A candle unwilling to burn after a violent storm.

A clover predicting luck only bringing misfortune.

A tangible Earth burning in darkness because no one gave a shit.

Countries dictated by criminals, beheading us for our different views.

Rivers refusing to flow leaving life to die in its murky depths.

We site alone, respite under midnight nova.

Licking the sharp knife as the blood runs through our lips as the battlefield

cracks give away.. and we fall.

Falling. Spiraling. Inspiring.

We lose hope. There’s always a happy end, right?


The Lustful Ghost (A/N: Bizarre. But it’s sort of spooky so I kept it)

I asphyxiate on the ghostly fumes that compress my lungs with possession.

Like a withdrawn compassion that is defined as sin, and the medley of songs

play from a vinyl down the hall.

Losing consciousness to those who take over me, as the thorn slides into me.

The ghost is dominant as I can’t scream for help as I enlist myself to him.

He fucks me hard.

My moans echo down the hall striking the record player with each snare.

He continues the torture, fucking me like a ragged doll.

The ghost makes me his bitch, as she shoves a laced cloth down my throat.

Gagging, continually asphyxiating.

Gagging, the ghost lights.

The future. Lights.

Fucking me til I die.

Fucking my postmortem body.

As I watch in disarray as the ghost has kept me in his hell.



Useful, Uselessness (About the Boy)

Awaiting a show of affection,

as snow falls in February endings.

Like the rivers flowing in opposite directions,

you leave me with more questions that cannot be asked.

Bewilderment.

Baffling stars descend in comedy clubs,

designed around my love, a joke.

Requiem. My love.

My affection for you is useless.


Whimpering Love Stories In Midnight Cities

Breath the toxic air

so your final words flow through the mist,

creating hieroglyphics of an unknown message.

In the final act; the curtains curiously awaiting to close.

An audience left in disarray as the actor leaps to his death.

In the act of love, I play the actor and you play the audience.

As you wished for my departure from you, life, the world.

You move on as I’m stuck in the afterlife of misery,

wishing you still embraced me with protection.

Protection from fear.


The Fly & The Bear

When I saw the fireflies,

flying over the midnight sky.

The pattern formed from their rays of light,

was the tear drops falling from my eyes.

As I whispered in your ear, they began to disappear.

Now as I saw on that faithful night, not a sight anyone has seen.

The bear and the fly rejoicing in sweet melodies.

(As I saw on that night, the sign of friendship and harmony.)



Download this book for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-44 show above.)