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Excerpt for Feel by , available in its entirety at Smashwords


Feel


Copyright 2018 Victoria Evelyn

Published by Victoria Evelyn at Smashwords




Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.



Trigger Warning

This book contains talk about suicide and other sensitive topics. Caution is advised.

For National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255




Table of Contents

The Words on My Wrists

The Words on the Bathroom Stalls

The Poems on My Lips(The Cheating Chronicles)

The Poems on My Lips

The Words on My Band-Aids

About Victoria Evelyn


The Words on My Wrists

230 Pounds

I'm 230 pounds,

my belly peeks out in leggings,

I have stretch marks on my thighs,

I have stretch marks on my stomach,

my thighs jiggle and so do my arms,

I can work my ass of and not lose weight,

plenty of doctors have expressed their concerns for my weight,

each doctor visit now I don't eat,

I instead feed off the tears I cry,


sometimes I feel sexy,

when my hair flows the right way,

when my ass sticks out and looks right,

when you can't see my stomach,

when I have no acne on my face,

when every part of my body is covered,


other days I make myself vomit,

it becomes an addiction,

no one notices,

because I still don't lose weight,

I can go to bed without dinner,

lunch,

and breakfast,

I still remain the same,


I starve myself on purpose sometimes,

it's my way of cutting,

I become sick and feel pain,

but no marks remain,

because I stay the same,


I have acne all over my body,

and patches of dirt often cover me,

it's my version of cutting,

when I hate myself I'll scrub it clean till I'm bleeding,


I have flakes in my hair,

look closer,

you will see it's not dandruff,

it's my way of cutting,

I dig my nails into my scalp,


I have bags under my eyes,

my demons haunt me at night,

the only time I can freely cry without being a problem,

don't worry I get told enough I have no reason to cry,


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