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THE INK THAT NEVER STOPS

VOL 1


a poetry book


Published by Patricia Hurt at Smash words

Copyright 2018 Patricia Hurt


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I would like to dedicate this book to my sister Latrena Hurt, for pushing me to get an education and getting me through school. I would like to thank you for everything you have ever done. Thank you for also keeping my head in the books and going after my dreams and for believing in me and getting me to see that I can do anything I put my mind to.

I thank you and I love you with all of my heart.


INTRODUCTION

Since I was 14 years old I never thought in a million years. I would be here writing poetry didn't know what poetry was. I didn't how to write poetry didn't know nothing about poetry when my English told me what poetry was and how to write it. It didn't sound so bad after all. It was just a bunch of deep feelings or happy thought's and expression written on paper. My first time writing and expressing my feeling and letting everything out felt good and when it came time to turn in my journal. My teacher thought so too. I never thought I would have a passion for poerty.my poetry was so good that my teacher Mrs. Brown actually went out to the store and brought me my first poetry book. She told me that whenever you fell something you open your book and you write and write until it’s all out and after every poem you write reread it to you self and by the time you read each page that you wrote on each page, you'll have your very own first poetry book. But it’s up to you to your book come to life. Mrs. Brown was the first one to see something in me that I couldn't see. But poetry just wasn't something that I wanted to peruse. Music was always my first love. But all my songs that I written are just poems that I written over the years.


The reason for me even making it this far in life with my poetry is because someone saw something in me and told me that I had a gift and that when you have a gift you hold on to that gift and you peruse your passion. You’ll know when it’s your calling. Now I finally understand stand what it’s like to have something that is mine and be able to share my story with other people. I think god for blessings me with this gift and I plan to make big things happen with my poetry.




I’M DONE RUNNING

I'm tired of living a lie and hiding be hide these closed doors
It's time for me to break free and live my own life

Why can't you just let me be me for once in my life
Why do you always run from everything

when you gone stop running and face your truth of what you been running from

It’s time to say what's on your mind and do what you need to do for you
Won't let no one bring me down and will always wear a smile.


DARK SHADOW


A dark path is where I walk all alone not a thought nor a feeling I'm just empty inside

So here I am standing in the darkness
surrounded by the night
a stranger to the light

I look up at the sky at night and I cry a tear
as you’re not by myside
as I walk this path alone

I feel like a shadow in a mist of darkness
I can't breathe in this darkness

I feel like I’m trapped in a cage of my own fears
I feel like I will be here forever trapped in my own fears

a dark path is where I walk all alone not a thought nor a feeling as I walk this path alone yellow eyes watch me from the shadows

as fog rolls in from the south looking behind me nothing but darkness and sorrow

so here I am standing in the darkness
Surrounded by the night a stranger to the light.


SECRETS

I'm living a nightmare that nobody knows
he still out there that I know for sure

it’s me who he wants and its he who he hunts
it’s not safe not even alone
he appears in my dreams and vanishes when I awake

a black hole is where I live
a secret that I hold that has been untold
wounded and cold I live each day a nightmare is what I seem to wear
scares that you cannot see
the naked truth that lies with in me.


DO YOU KNOW

How does it feel to have a broken heart and to be alone
How does it feel to be hurt
How does it feel to suffer in pain with nobody to care 4 you?

you ever felt stupid n dumb for crying those same damn tears over and over again for the same person

Every one's been hurt once
or twice
or even more times than before probably even lost count while trying to let go n move on

Some people find love and other lose love
Love is like a ride starts to move but it eventually stops and comes to an end
but my love never even begin.


NO MORE OF ME

It’s like stepping on glass and bleeding out all because you shattered my heart

It's raindrops falling from my eyes cause of all my tears that I have cried

You destroyed every part of me piece by piece by piece
no longer am I alive.


DEAD OR ALIVE

Dead or alive who would care,
Talk to me any kind of way,
not even giving a damn,
Kick me out with no place to go,
homeless and hungry as I walk these dangerous New York streets alone, 
Dead or live who would care,

I know what it's like, to be kicked down
I know what it's like, to be homeless now and ugly,
I know what it's like, not to have a family, that you once had,
And I'm know what it’s like, to have absolutely nothing

No clothes
No shoes
No place to call home
No one to love me
Dead or alive who would care.


BLANK

You open up your heart me,
to share something that is in there,
your pain, your hurt, your frustrating in this world.

Not one single word, seems to drop from the ink you write with, not a thought, from the mind you think with.

It is as if your mind is not free
This cannot be
Is your mind not here
Is it somewhere else where
Do not do this to me and leave me blank with no words today.

If the mind cannot think,
then I cannot, feel what the heart has to say,
You can't throw that always
what feeling you have inside of you.

For I am here to remain,
Until the mind and heart can no longer bare, a thought or feeling, it no longer wants to hold inside.


POURING MY LOVE TO YOU

You said don't act innocent with you
you said I had a lot to do with this break up too,
but I never once,
lied or cheat on you
so tell me what did I do
because you were the one
Who cheated on me
and you were the one
who said you don't want no baby by me
and you were the one
who lied about everything
so don't you try to put the blame on me

after all these years, I tried to make it work
taking you back time after time again
even with the arguing, I could never whip my hands with you
because you were the only man I wanted to be with
couldn't see myself being with nobody else
why couldn't you see, what you had
And Now that it’s gone, you want it back
But won't you the one
who pour my love out
I guess my love wasn't enough for you
because you had to go and poured my love out
you poured my love out

you poured my love out
my love out

there's no other women out there like me,
who will you love more than me
baby we got history,
so why you have to go and do this to me.



DAMN FEELINGS

You make it look so easy to love
my heart won't love again
from all the pain you put me in
I've got no more fight left in me

I've been hurt, broken and tore apart like I was nothing,
I just want this hurt and pain to go away, 
if u could see how hurt I am
if u could feel the pain I'm in
Or the bruises you left me with

Why you hurt me, and treat me the way you do,
This pain, I can't take
but this pain you can't erasers

what about how I feel
It’s like fuck my feeling with you
still fuckin every bitch you see, aren’t you
never did appreciate shit I did for you
that's why I'm glad this thing is over

these are tears of pain
Why you have to lie to me
should've Never let you close to me
but something just speaks for themselves in say.

I DON’T NEED

I don't need u or nobody else
because I’m a be fine with just me and myself

I don't need a man for anything
or to even call my own
I Rather be alone
then be with someone who isn't true and having me look like a fool
Lost and confused
having me thinking what did I do

I don't need man, to make me happy
cause I'm happy with just me
and I don't need a man, to love me
cause can't nobody love me
like I love me

I don't need u or nobody else
cause I'm gone be fine with just me
and myself,
anything a man can do
a woman can do too
I’ve already been down that road,
already experience the pain,
I Rather be sorry then hurt again.

HOW COULD YOU

I don't know you, and you don't know me. But yet you keep trying to talk to me.

you got all these people looking at me,
Like I'm some kind of hoe or something,
I don't know who you talking to and telling people about me for,
But you need to leave my name out or mouth.

How could you run and tell something
That aren’t true?
How could you even lie on me like that?
I thought you was better than that,
But I see that you’re not.

I'm not you and I don't do what you do. I don't know what the hell you up too,
But I got my eye on you and imam be watching every little thing that you do.

but I tell you what I better not hear,
Is my name in your mouth my dear.



CONFUSED FEELING

I'd ride for you,
from beginning to end,
I'll hold it down for you,
if you ever went away,
I'll die for you,
fighting to prove my love to you,

My heart melts for you,
It's races like a train just to get to you,
My minds crazy for you,
What is a girl supposed to do,

I do not love you, like I do,
But I am in love with you, for sure I know I am,
I don't care to have sex with you,
But I do want to make love to you,
Do you see the difference between the two,

Do you not love me, like I do,
True love is what has become,
Do you hear the beating of the drums,
For us to become one?



PLAIN & SIMPLE


There is no, could of, should of, would of,
There is no ifs, ands, or buts about it,


You weren’t there for me when I needed you, and you aren’t here now, period, point, blank, and that's the bottom line,
                        Plain & simple....


RED

I bleed in pain,
I scream in vain,
I see nothing but red, angry and unsaid,

Hurting inside with tears in my eyes, my heart tore and broken into two,
Burned and bruised lost and confused what is a girl to do,

Physically and verbally abuse,
I can't no more with you,
I hate you, I love you, why you keep playing with my mind like you do,

I'm not met for you, and you don't love me like you say you do,
Disrespect me, mistreat me, the lies that you tell me, do you not see the damage you've done to me,

My heart that you stabbed,
Bleeding out so fast,
Not a minute or a second before I'm dead.



THE PAST

Looking back at everything,
that I've been through
I never thought I'd find myself
here with you,

A man who loves me for me,
A man who see's something I don't see,
A man who knows what I'm worth,
A man who knows what it's like to be hurt,

You held me close with open arms,
Gave me a shoulder to even cry on,
You stood by me through it all,
I'm glade to say we made it through the storm,

No more pain or sorrows,
Here's to better days like tomorrow.

R.I.P. PATRICIA OTERO

I never thought in a million years, I'd be the one standing here in tears, while you’re up there watching over us,

I never thought I'd be one, left and alone, missing you now that your gone, my whole life is tearing,

Can't believe it's been this long,
Since you've been gone,
Everything gone wrong,
It's like another sad love Song,
I'm just broken inside,

Why he has to take you,
Why couldn't it be me,
I would do anything just to see your beautiful face again,

But I'll always have a part of you,
Thanks for naming me after you,
A bond I shared with you,
A love that grow inside of two.

              R. I. P

MIRROR

Look at me,
this cannot be,
through this glass I see,
A girl who was once me,
A girl who use to be is no longer with me,
Lost in a world of misery,

A heart that was full of gold,
but is now cold,
this girl that no one knows,
Cries in front of me,
please, please, help me,

Suffering in pain,
slowly fading always,
to only see that the girl in the mirror was only me.





Dead or alive who would care,
Talk to me any kind of way,
not even giving a damn,
Kick me out with no place to go,
homeless and hungry as I walk these dangerous New York streets alone, 
Dead or live who would care,

I know what it's like, to be kicked down
I know what it's like, to be homeless now and ugly,
I know what it's like, not to have a family, that you once had,
And I'm know what it’s like, to have absolutely nothing

No clothes
No shoes
No place to call home
No one to love me
Dead or alive who would care.

VOICE

What I want to say,
but no words come out my way,
as I stand there hopeless,
being told what I can and cannot do,
Treated like a child with a curfew of when to be in the house,

Being walked all over for 11 years,
My lips stay on mute until its time,
I speak up and put my foot down,
I'm moving out,
I can't no more with you and your rules,

Everything I do,
you always got something to say,
but it's for the better this way,
I'm grown and its time for me to be on my own,
it’s time for me to see the world alone,

I know I’ll pay for all the hateful things,
But something just has to change,
We fought the fault,
and where both two blame,
but mostly me and that I see,

For so long I had no voice,
and now I have found that voice inside of me,
I know I won't miss,
all the hurt and pain you brought to me,

A heart that's free from pain,
A mind that won't be contained,
but full of thought to gain,
And a voice that will here again and again.

BUTTERFLIES FLY BY

Butterflies fly by
Butterflies fluttering in the sky
Butterflies twinkling through the night,

Butterflies so friendly and sweet, ticking me with a kiss on my check making me dance to my feet,

I'm dancing in my heat,
butterflies dancing to the beat, while the birds in the treed going tweet, tweet, tweet,

butterflies fly by,
butterflies fluttering through the sky,
butterflies say bye bye,

butterflies are nature's best,
butterflies have a big heart just like the rest,
butterflies fly with the wind,
butterflies are in the sky again,

DRUGS

I'm sorry for all my sin's,
How could I ever let the devil win,
I'm a shamed, I put myself in harm’s way,

I never did nothing like this, and now because of this, I'm so damn pissed,
what the hell was I thinking doing dis,

Pressured to do it,
Come on just take a hit,
let's turn up and get lit,
everyone was in, but me,

I lost all hope, and there I was doing                dope,
How could I be so stupid,
but I am still human,

Everyone makes mistakes,
the headaches that awakes,
The choices that I have made, cut deep like a knife blade,

Never will I put another drug in me,
My soul that pleads guilty,
let these drugs leave quickly, cause now I can see clearly,

I live for Thea, the love I have for he,
Such a good man, who will never hurt me, but only wants the best for me, Sincerely yours truly, drug free. 



THE ONE YOU LET GO

You lied to my face,
Make me want to catch a case,
how could you cheat on me with this ugly Bitch,
I should put you both in a fucking ditch,

you just hit it and quite it,
go ahead and admit it,
should've known you was full of bullshit,

I never did anything to deserve this shit,
All I did was love you and that was it,
was that not good enough for you,
Look at all the shit you put me through,

but hey I guess it's out with the old and in with the new,
I don't need you,
you two clowns can kiss the bottom of my shoe,
I'm so glad that you are through,
because you could never undo the damages that you've already done to me.

STAY IN YOUR LANE

You lied to my face,
Make me want to catch a case,
how could you cheat on me with this ugly Bitch,
I should put you both in a fucking ditch,

you just hit it and quite it,
go ahead and admit it,
should've known you was full of bullshit,

I never did anything to deserve this shit,
All I did was love you and that was it,
was that not good enough for you,
Look at all the shit you put me through,

but hey I guess it's out with the old and in with the new,
I don't need you,
you two clowns can kiss the bottom of my shoe,
I'm so glad that you are through,
because you could never undo the damages that you've already done to me.

I’VE GOT NOTHING

Kicked out and accused of something, I did not do,
homeless like the people on the streets, and now me with nothing to eat and no place to sleep,
Left in disbelief, out of all people you do this to me,

Lost in a city,
full of sin and nasty men,
Robbed blind by who I thought was my friend,
Betrayed by my own family and friends,
no words can begin,

lost and confused, a life I didn't not choose, irrational you just had to be, not caring what happens to me,
a godmother I never want to see, 
a big mistake you made with me,

True colors I got to see,
done with everybody who disagrees,
You all will be sorry like falling leaves,
Cause your nothing but some lying thieves,
I hope you all are happy, because you never did want me sadly,
Just what I thought exactly.



A DREAM

A dream I dreamed of you, a wish come true, you an appear to me in a dream so sweet, what a special treat to meet,

With one of a kind eyes, and a body that just cries, screaming my name inside like butterflies in the sky, a dream I cannot lie, a prize that I can identify,

The man of my dream that I have seen, this is more than a dream,
do you not know what this means,
that this dream was met for me to be your one and only queen.

TO MY DAD

Where was you when I needed you,
Nowhere to be found,
in and out of my life,
cutting like a knife through my heart I cried,
what I thought was a dad,
a nightmare I have had,

now I see why it's so sad,
you denied your only child who I thought u would make proud,
a mother who had to be both mom and dad,
why couldn't you be the father I imagine you to be,
I through we were going to be a real family finally,

I loved you for so long, and now your just up and gone, with no calls,
not knowing if your alive or dead,
got me wondering if I’ll ever see you again,
my blood that bleeds like pen, the last moments we'll ever spend,

I don't know if I can or will be able to forgive you again, there a lot to explain for all pain you left me in,
this time you do not win, nor do I care where you been,


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