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CETERIS PARIBUS



















Copyright 2018 Jason Gant

Published by Jason Gant at Smashwords




Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.



Table of Contents


Acknowledgements


Prologue


Regular Joe

blue-perfect and moon

2006 Paragon of futility

2103 life of motion

3018 Coin

4004 The Formation

4007 dealing with values

5001 I can hardly describe

6000 an observation

6004 I feel

6005 damn near tragedy

6006 new series

6007 mood

6008 On the Fall of 2000

6014 Monday morning of

6018 the real young

7002 again still

7004 the gris-gris bag gets fuller

7007 I want to be peppered with life

7011 kids

7016 radio

8008 flipped one too many pages

9001 how many fall days

9006 spring semester

12,004 came downstairs

12,006 clouds

12,008 I am ensconced

12,009 the "blue-perfect" the "color prima"

12,010 last night at the house

12,011 I work in a shade of gray

kk runnin round

12,015 Zen photo

13,010 walking throughout the day

13,012 during transition times

13,013 like a prescription

14,001 The mind-kind connection, or subliminal satori erection

Melochromatic

summertime


Kathryn's poems


Wild Flowers

Daffodil

1003 struggling with the idea

1102 A Thousand Days

1603 P____

1604 your beauty and your smile

1605 Internal loneliness

1606 N_____

1607 out I go

1608 missing my girl

1702 tears

1703 The List

1704 she called me "hon"

1705 I am a lonely

2001 The Second Thousand

12,017 I've walked this earth


Man and Nature

tree gaze

1402 man and nature

1403 rainy black day

2314 quiet wet gray in the sky

6010 mind drift, in and out

6011 indifference

6013 smoke forms perfect rings

6016 tomatoes growing

6020 it's half past three

6021 saddening

6025 morning quiet time

8001 garden spider

8009 back dock

9002 life is best

9003 the air is cold

10,002 spring thunderstorm

11,009 after rain

11,012 like a walnut

13,006 Leave the grass, man

14,011 morning on the porch


Concerns

preface or insanity proper

At the front door

1502 paranoid runaround paranoid

or

secret basement apartment of mine

1505 sometimes I feel

1506 the imagined is better than the great

1507 a twist of words

2003 Sitting alone

2004 I am a bizarre

2108 invoke me

Sunset Scotch

2204 tainted from the world

2306 glug glug

3002 I am the one

3007 take the flesh

3017 twisted

3021 outbound

3029 my preferred method now is

4001 cabezada

4005 The Affirmation

excerpt from Bobby and Suzy

At the skating rink…

10,004 Freak I

10,005 Freak II

Esoteric Observations

river ice left on trees

(Early days with mornings and headaches) or (Earlier memories forget us all)

The Dawn Emerges

The Golden One

2102 fire eater deatheatre

4009 all systems and

7013 a poor laborer

7014 Tao

7015 no form

12,018 samurai practice

14,005 bottle of red

14,006 cop with thin weak arms, pale

14,012 with this poetry and photography

Rhymes of Secundus

Preface…from Canto 5

looking up red

1201 Ode to Cthulhu

1202 Dream in Black

1203 goats head, risen

2110 noise of normalcy

2111 (plug away plug away)

2304 flash in

2305 in a cold sweat

2308 born of body

3006 I am Primus

3010 They Kill

3026 godown godown godown

5004 clothe thyself

6026 Death Ray

10,008 Gutless weirdo fuckass

the synaptic-ally disconnected


Nonsense

Rose kiss flower

3012 Cigar

6012 a damn shame

6015 my neighbor Habib

7005 boundary setting for the ego

7009 it's all a numbers game

11,002 I like ice

11,011 if

12,014 Evan is fed

12,019 dog, you are a dufus

I don't know where

Self-referencing


About the Author

Connect with Jason Gant






Acknowledgements

I'd like to thank my wife Dana first and foremost, for putting up with the better part, of the worst parts of me, for many years now-no this is not what you signed up for. Also my children, Kathryn, Evan, and Parker for also (not that you really have any choice) putting up with me and loving me, and sometimes listening to me. I truly want you to be happy, healthy, and safe throughout your entire lives. To Anne and Bob for all your support, and support, and support. To Dad, Glenna, Ryan, Jess, and all the rest of all the family tree branching out everywhere.



Prologue

I don't recall how or why I got started writing, I just did during my junior year of high school. A few years later looking back over several poems, I found they served as a poetic-emotive index to my life. As things were more difficult or stressful, I wrote more, if things were easier, I wrote less. The writing would wax and wane, and when it started up again, it would be different than the previous period, even if separated by only a few months. When I noticed this, I started numbering my poems. The period where I had written A Thousand Days, became the 1000 series. In the next life period when I had written The Second Thousand, that become the 2000 series. That convention carried on through all following writing periods. These are the ones most worthy (or appropriate) of sharing with you kind people.


This selection of poems spans from my earliest of days in high school (please be kind) to my latest. Three poems were previously published: A Thousand Days, Slide to the Softer Side, and Zen Ride. This selection however, is separated into fugues and then indexed chronologically.

I hope you enjoy these poems, I claim no epic prize-winning talent, but I think I do some interesting things with rhyme, and imagery. Some gets pretty bizarre, some of it intentionally graphic due to the life circumstances which bore the work. One of the things which drove my poetry was the idea of writing them in the horror genre. Hence, what you see in some of what follows. I welcome any and all feedback and commentary!


Regular Joe


blue-perfect moon, 4-8-2005



2006 Paragon of Futility


we are brightly colored buffoons

I and my crew


I try to find myself

and discriminate from the rush

amidst the pallid

undercut underbrush


[I find I cannot]



960516

2103


life of motion

times of pain

bring me down

bring me again


to the point

at which

I made the switch

I did anoint


and became

the dancing clown

under acid rain

in a blood red ocean



971028

3018 Coin


the lines are parallel

the coin in my pocket

the man here with me


there aren't as many of us

as there used to be

and so our power has gone to sleep


this coin shows signs

both theirs and mine

it is symbolic of a bond


I will tell you why

this is all so important

soon we may all be gone


the lines are parallel

strength and beauty

the lines are parallel

wisdom and mortality



980925

4004 The Formation


caught up in the format

form without function

I remind myself

of an empty can

of spray paint

empty and used, but without ever

having really covered anything


empty used uncovered


caught up in the format

form without function

true function, the purpose of my life

purpose, what is it?


I have a purpose

for each thing that I do

I have no purpose

for everything that I do



980929

4007


dealing with values

I don't know well

I have to deal with them

I don't know them


working with people

I don't know well

I have to modify my approach

I don't know how


this is not the worst

of times for me

this is not the worst I've had it


but let me tell you:

I have had it better



9-3-00

5001


I can hardly describe

when you give to me

your enveloping femininity


your love surrounds

my naked flesh


my energy abounds,

it swirls and it rises

and crashes into you


I feel love all throughout my body


from me to you

my pleasure to send

my gift of life

raise a child of mine

be my naked wife


and never put on your dress again



6-14-01

6000 an observation


pushing our daughter

on the swing glider

I notice the spider web

built there between the poles


a couple of days, long time for a spider

or child

spiders found a good place

to build, sturdy

with space between for wind and bugs


I notice it's been a lucrative location

past dinner messes

littering the temporary

home

stretched first this way then that

now with our child swinging

I notice on the forward swing the web collapses

and on the backswing it goes taut

curious effect I thought


spider becomes lost

to this unknown tempest



8-12-01

6004


I feel

I am always

in a state of unfolding

or emerging, becoming,

not yet a full or finished product


I guess that means

I'm still finding myself

and therefore, still a young man.

that then, is good.



8-15-01

6005


damn near tragedy

this morning

almost spilled what's left

of my chicory coffee


I've swept the breakroom, and already

I see the dust bunnies I've missed

come hop hop hopping out


I guess there's no stopping

that kind of degradation,

slipping back into dirt and

disorder, chao ab ordo


oh well, nothing else

to do really, after getting

my fingers chopped

in the meat flaker



8-15-01

6006


new series

smooth, easy

reflections of

this daily life


wife, daughter

house.

two cars one cat

and the chicken pox.


I sit on the deck

watching the sun go down,

slowly.


I sigh, and realize

my American dream




8-15-01

6007 mood


quiet reservation

and reflections in "E"


peace, resolution

and serenity


how I feel

is what you're seeing

as your reading

these lines.


nothing more



8-15-01

6008 On the Fall of 2000


melt down

in the crucible

no time for poetry

6000 series would wait


unpoetic, nonprophetic

doom and gloom

was here

now!


the crucible.

"a severe test or trial"

we suffered. being just hitched

and suddenly unemployed

for awhile


pitched

to the workforce

development office


development, envelopment

in a blue collar element

enter my 'regular joe'

period, and spring

of 2001



9-3-01

6014


Monday morning of

Labor Day weekend

sitting on my deck

I look at the mess


so many chairs


yet yesterday

there wasn't enough

for our family

to sit in


so cool



9-3-01

6018


the real young

and the real old

kind of operate the same


they have troubles walking,

eating, matching words

with meaning.


the old have memories

they can't recall

the young hardly have

any at all



2-19-02

7002 again still


I I read Desiderata

at the bookstore so

I wouldn't have to buy it


sitting alone in a bar

writing poetry on my napkin

again so out of place


II Depends on

the place you're at.

out of touch, rather

unfamiliar with

the modern verse

but…

been writing straight from


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