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Excerpt for A Taste Of My Thoughts Why Reindeers Cry by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

A Taste Of My Thoughts

Why Reindeers Cry

By Steve Lake

Copyright 2019




Smashwords Edition 2019

Published by Steve Lake

Copyright 2019 Steve Lake




License Notes

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Please, if you have enjoyed this poem, please take a moment and reward me with a review on the smashword.com page where you downloaded it. Thanks Steve





Why Reindeers Cry

Please Santa, No More Reindeer Games

Copyright 12-22-2018

Steve Lake


Year after year the reindeers played

Always Santa's way

He called it reindeer games

They called it a day of shame


No one truly understands their strife

Maybe except for Santa's wife

The elves always turned a blind eye

Especially at night when the reindeers cry


All the kids around the world

Bathing in their innocence

Misled by token presents from the big guy

Never inquiring why reindeers fly


It started eons ago

Approximately two days after a reindeer is born

Santa said he would grow to tow

His loaded sled and his jelly roll


Since that day

Week after week

They all gathered

To heed what Santa speaks


As Santa chowed down on fresh cookies

Crumbs spewed around his feet

It wasn't a magic wand he waved

But a willow switch still green


He explained to them it brought him no joy

But it was his responsibility and theirs to deliver the toys

And it was their job to complete the task

And at that moment he whipped that reindeer ass


They all scattered like cockroaches in the light

As he chanted Ho! Ho! Ho! Out of spite

Then the reindeers magically reappeared

Santa donned an ugly smile ear to ear


As he chanted their names one at a time

Making them stand and tow his line

As he held them by the ears

A reindeer screamed out, Oh Shit!

Santa is animal queer


The abuses continued all year around

Those of the world never heard their sounds

It was an ugly sight

Their destiny and their plight


Early morning after Santa faded with night

Falling to sleep in his aged twilight

They all gather from their sorrow

Then chatted about tomorrow

Santa must die!

For a better future for all the reindeers to vie

Again they all whispered Santa must die!


The reindeers then gathered their knowledge from eternity's past

They have witnessed so many deaths from life's wrath

They avowed no more plights

Tonight, Santa will draw his last breath


Then through the mountain tops

Santa's Ho! Ho! Ho! Echoed aloft

Then they magically appeared

Again Santa was looking at their rears


You will never hear a reindeer fart

Only whispers on the wind

Now you know why

Reindeers cry


That fateful night the reindeers all gathered in a circle

Sharpened antlers on the guard

Santa laughed while smiling saying I love you guys

Being in a circle I will get me more


Santa then twitched his nose

Then he blinked his eyes

Then he appeared nude in the circle

Rudolf then screamed about face

Santa must die!



At that moment they all kicked

Santa then dropped his shit

As they all turned around

Spearing Santa with their sharpened antlers

Till Santa's blood stained the ground


One by one they paid their final respect

Making yellow snow onto Santa for his final rest

Melting the snow with a yellow glow

Santa's body sunk below the cold

With no dead body there is no crime

Still the elves turned a blind eye


Mrs. Claus now free from Santa's abuse

Telling the reindeers she was once Santa's muse

From her inspiration they built a big red toy

A new harmless Santa to bring true joy


She further explained as she petted the reindeers

Avowing innocent eyes will not turn if we continue to deliver the toys

No one then will ever question

Through elated girls and boys


Through the next eon

Mrs. Claus interviewed each inhabitant of the North Pole

She found out the horrors when Santa would grow

All of his experiences when his evil would show

More unspeakable horrors she rather not know


She found out the elves really did care

About their front and back shaven from hair

They were just too scared

When Santa would swing his sack of toys

Not caring if it was a girl elf or boy


At the North Pole stadium they all gathered through the day

Mrs. Claus apologized to each and all in her way

Saying Santa was a real pervert

He even got frosty with his balls

She avowed the shame of it all


She further avowed they all missed the biggest clue

Santa was the devil in disguise

His favorite color was red

She said once Santa even did the dead


So Mrs. Claus said from this point on

Santa will be replaced with a big red stuffed toy

This time he will truly ensue

He will only bring innocent joy

No longer wheeling his toy of doom


No more Santa echoes in the night

And definitely no more specialty toys of plight

But feel free to piss on his grave when you leave

He always did like golden shower

Upon his dead corpse we shall grow the purity of white flowers

For no more reindeer shall ever cry again!

And Ho! Ho! Ho! Will finally be free of Santa's sin he vied



Please, if you have enjoyed this poem, please take a moment and reward me with a review on the smashword.com page where you downloaded it. Thanks Steve



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